This is a Low
by StalkerDex
Summary: This is a new MurdocX2D. 2D is rapidly falling into a deep depression now that Noodle and Russel are gone and Murdoc is starting to notice. Angst and much drama will ensue.
1. Chapter 1

This is A Low

Chapter One: Act Naturally

By: StalkerDex

_Baby, baby, babe...what can I do? I'm so in love with you..._

_ -Graham Coxon, See Another Day_

Frail, so frail. Cold. He had just showered, and his blue hair hung loose and matted around his pale, sickly face. His eyes (well, what was left of them anyway) were solemn, staring at the razor in his hands. He wasn't sure why he did it...maybe he was hoping someone would notice him? A physical example of the never ending waves of depression he felt crashing down upon him...but no one ever did. No one cared. Everyone he cared about was gone or otherwise preoccupied. Noodle, bless her sole, all he had of her now was a fucking robot...really, a FUCKING robot. And, Russel...well, who ever knew what the fuck he was doing, but he was gone. Hadn't seen him in a while. Kong Studios, wasted away...gone...just another fucking thing in his life that was gone. The only person who was still physically in his life was Murdoc (who of course had always been the most important person in his life, being that he had, well, saved his life) but it really didn't matter anyway because he was always to preoccupied with his blogs, his women and that crazy ass man who was constantly trying to shoot him.

He cringed and allowed a tear to fall from his vacant eyes. Over his nose, salty into his mouth. Just added to the sour taste he couldn't seem to rid himself of. Bitter...bitter and sour...just like him.

"Fuck..." he sobbed, tears now flowing freely, landing wherever they pleased.

He continued to cry, shaking and muttering as he lowered the razor blade to his arms and cut. He never cut deep, he wasn't suicidal...not yet anyway...so he always made sure to avoid any areas that could actually steal his life away from him. Shallow, slightly painful cuts to distract him from the much more immense pain he felt in his heart...in his head.

* * *

Murdoc sad at the computer, typing away at his blog, discussing his political views and general distaste for the world around him. He'd been rather perky since Russel had left, no longer did he have to worry about having his face pounded in if he were to be an asshole to anyone...although the only person left he could be an asshole to was 2D. However, he had noticed that his lead singer had been just walking around like, well, for lack of a better word, a fucking zombie! He was aware that something was wrong, and while he didn't really care for 2D's health and mental stability, he really was aware that he needed him around if he was going to keep the Gorillaz alive, he needed his lead singer to be alive. Fuck, really, the band was pretty much only him and D anymore. Thank God they were able to get a robot of Noodle so as to still have a guitarist...although he really did miss worrying about Noodle's safety and security. She was the only person in his life he did have a little soft spot for. The robot just wasn't the same. It had no emotions or playfulness. Nothing like the real Noodle.

"Ugh, damnit...really? Am I doing this?" He muttered, leaning his head back and looking to the roof.

He stood up and, very reluctantly, headed towards 2D's room. He hadn't seen him for a while, no noise coming out of his room either. He knew that he'd been cutting himself, and he was fairly certain that he was about to witness one of his slashing sessions, but he had to catch him if he was going to convince the singer to stop. He'd never brought it up of course, because at first he though the little twat was doing it for attention, which irritated the fuck out of Murdoc, of course. D should know that he didn't deserve the time of day from Murdoc for being such a fucking pansy ass bitch. However, like he had said before, he needs a goddamn singer, and if this shit kept going on, he knew he probably wouldn't have one.

Breathe in. Hold it. Grab the doorknob. Breath out. Relax, turn the knob and open the door.

It happened pretty fast, yet, at the same time, slow enough for every detail to make their way into his brain, burning themselves in there. Yep, they would be there forever. For-fucking-ever.

D was sitting on the bed, a towel wrapped around his waste, blood all over his arms, tears staining his face, a sleight pinkish hue around his cheeks. His razor was in hand, also soaked with blood. He was shaking, and seemed completely oblivious of the fact that Muds had entered the room. He took the razor and again, slashed his arm...a rather deep cut. He wasn't sure if D was cutting so deep intentionally, or if he had to to feel the pain. He was probably rather used to it.

Murdoc walked over in front of the singer, somewhat in auto pilot. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he still knew what he had to do.

"D..." he muttered, disgusted. He crouched down on his feet, put his hand on D's clean arm and slowly removed the razor from the pretty singer's scarred hand. He didn't even move, just stared at Murdoc's face. It was unsettling how much hurt he could see in those little black holes of his. He swallowed hard, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"Wot the fuck're ya doin'?" He asked, although very careful not to put TOO much venom into his words.

Blank stare. More of the fucking blank staring. Just as Murdoc was about to ask again with a little more force, 2D opened up his mouth a bit and breathed.

"I...I hurt...my heart hurts...my head hurts...I dunno wot else to do?" He whispered.

Murdoc just stared at him. Waiting for more of an explanation.

"Wot d'ya mean?" He questioned, pushing him to tell him more.

"I mean that, when I try and do somefin', like walk out of my room, my body feels too heavy. When I fink about eating it makes my stomach hurt, and I can't do it. When I try to write a song it all sounds the same, so I stop and I hate myself for not being able to keep up with wot I want. Everyfing feels wrong..." he sniffled and sobbed a bit... "I hate myself, I hate my life, I can't sleep, I can't dream, I can't focus...I just want to lay here and fucking cry...but I can't even FUCKING do that!" He cried. Shaking and squeezing hands together, digging his nails into his palms. More blood.

Murdoc grabbed his hands, a bit shocked at what he'd just heard. He hadn't realized...

"Hey, er...listen...it's gonna be ok. Jus'...stop this. Ye need to knock this shit off," he said as he held up the razor, then tucked it away.

"I'm gonna git ye help, D. I promise ye, ok?"

D looked up at him, eyes wide, tears stopped, a bewildered look on his face.

"Um...ok...? Ok."

Ok. Breathe in. Breath Out. Relax.


	2. Chapter 2

This is a Low

Chapter 2: A Day In The Life

By: StalkerDex

_"Yesterday, all of my troubles seemed so far away...now it looks as though they're here to stay...oh, I believe in Yesterday..."_

_ -The Beatles_

Oh God, he couldn't believe that Murdoc had just seen him like that. He had to apologize, he had to do something. That wasn't right...he hadn't realized that hurting himself like that, well, it could hurt someone else then couldn't it? Fuck. He grabbed the towel from around his waste, sniffled, and started to wipe the blood off of his arm. It was deeper than he had intended. He had to bandage it up...but the bandages, of course, were out in the kitchen (who the fuck knows why!? That's just where Murdoc liked to keep them) and he wasn't prepared to go out there and face Murdoc just yet.

"Oh..." he whined as he walked over to his dresser. His new room at Plastic Beach was a lot larger, which was something nice, he supposed. Of course, sometimes a large room for only one person can just make you feel even more alone...

He sighed as he pulled a shirt on, getting blood on it, of course. It was a medium yellow with a giant manga kitten face in the middle of it and it read: Pussy. It used to make him chuckle, but these days nothing even made him smile.

He wiggled into his jeans, realizing they were even looser than when he'd bought them. Fuck. He'd probably lost even more weight. He had to eat. Ugh, food. Ok, time for shoes. He sat back on the bed as he pulled his socks and shoes on. He knew he had to go and fucking bandage his arm. He knew it.

"Mmmm..." He whined again. He felt rather sorry for himself.

…................

Fuck. What the fuck!? Hell, he was PISSED. What the fuck was that little twat thinking!? How could he be so depressed and not tell him? Fuck, he knew he wasn't the easiest person to approach, but since they've been alone on plastic beach Murdoc had been a lot nicer to D...not to mention the moron had started sticking up for himself a bit in the past few years. He had wised up to the fact that he was an essential asset to the group and he knew that Murdoc needed him to keep his band alive, so he hadn't allowed him to be so abusive to him, which of course Russel got a good little laugh out of when he was around. Fucker. Why wasn't that big black motherfucker ever around when he would actually be of use? He hated to admit it, but he really wished he was there all of a sudden.

He wasn't sure why it bothered him so much that 2D was depressed, it's not like he really gave a shit about him...but, it was the shock of seeing it. Actually SEEING it. That was a whole different story. He had known it was going on, but to see that dumb fucker sitting there sobbing and feeling sorry for himself made him want to throw up...he was so...pathetic.

CRASH!

Murdoc jumped a bit as he heard the loud noise from the kitchen.

"Wot're ye doin'?" Muds asked as he entered the room and found 2D shivering and bleeding. He was struggling to pick up a grip of pans that he had apparently knocked over.

"Stop it ya dumbass, you'll git blood all over me pans!" He snarled, pushing the singer aside and picking up the mess himself. 2D winced as he landed against the counter. Murdoc ignored his pathetic stupid face and put the pans in their proper place.

"Now, wot is it ye need?"

2D looked at the floor and muttered, "I need to bandage my arm...tha's all."

He rubbed his arm and stared at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with the unholy bassist.

"Alright, well, sit your ass on the counter. I'll get 'em for ya."

2D glanced up at him, but his back was already turned, retrieving the bandages. He did as he was instructed, sitting with his hands pressed against the cold counter tile and his shoulder up, trying to look as small as possible. He didn't want this attention.

Finally, Murdoc got the bandages and turned towards his band mate. He approached him, though not very aggressively, he could tell the singer was uncomfortable, as was he. He felt ridiculous offering to help a grown man.

"Ok, hold out yer arm."

2D hesitated.

"Give me yer arm stupid!" He yelled, causing 2D to immediately thrust his arm out.

"Thanks, Shit, was that so damn hard?"

The singer shook his head, staring at the blood on his arm. There was quite a lot.

Murdoc felt his stomach lurch as he also took notice of how much blood was stained to his arm.

"Shit, let me get a wash cloth," he muttered, irritated as he grabbed a rag off of the sink, wet it, and returned to his previous spot in front of the distraught singer. It was a very tense, tense moment as he softly grabbed 2D's sleeve and pushed it up a bit, exposing most of the wound. He held it with one arm and gently dabbed the wet cloth on the cuts, soaking up the blood. He wanted to make sure it was clean before he bandaged it. The pit in his stomach grew...though...not from disgust as it was before.

2D sat quietly as his friend took care of him, butterflies flying around in his stomach. Murdoc had never showed him attention like this before...he kind of liked it.

"MmKay," Murdoc muttered as he put the cloth down. D's arm was clean enough to bandage now. He grabbed the bandaging tape and pressed it against the top of the wound, then began to slowly wrap it around 2D's arm. It felt really good as Murdoc did so, and it was making 2D's body get hot. He was surprised. He struggled to keep his nervous heart from beating out of his chest and stifled his quick, short breaths. He didn't want Murdoc to see that, well, quite honestly, he was becoming aroused. Perhaps it was because it was the first real physical contact he'd had with anyone in months...he hadn't really the desire to go out and find women in his depressed stupor.

Fuck...he could feel his heart beat in his knob.

And just as soon as it had began, it was done.

"There ye are. Now, fucking, don't make me do that again, ye hear?" Murdoc spat out as he began to put stuff away.

2D felt like he could barely hear Muds over his thudding heart.

"Ye...ok. Sorry..."


	3. Chapter 3

This is a Low

Chapter 3: The Fool on the Hill

Written By: StalkerDex

_Author's note: Thank you guys for reading, I appreciate all of the positive reviews. I'm sorry it took so long for this third chapter to come out, I just finished moving! I've been doing a lot of that lately...ugh...so I've been very busy and I appreciate your patience. Hopefully y'all haven't lost interest in where the story is going. Enjoy!!!! -StalkerDex_

God, it was so nice to be out there, doing his own thing. The spirits in his head long gone...this time he was away for himself; to do great things.

"Yo Russ, jus' wanted to say thanks, Dog. Never, ever did I think my raps could sound this beautiful!" The young, up-and-coming artist gushed. He had just received a little piece of what his new producer, Russel Hobbs, was capable of.

"No problem ma man, so glad you're happy...becuz trust me, I am happy!" He chuckled.

Russel had gotten completely enormous...just...wow. However, they always say that when you're happy, well, you'll gain weight! And he was the definition of happy. Since he had left Kong (well...since Kong had been destroyed at least) he had been off producing, writing and helping other young artists live their dreams. He was so much more capable of doing these things, and he had felt restricted in the Gorillaz, merely a drummer. He was worth so much more.

"A'ight, well, I'll see ya tomorrow brother," the rapper stated as he high fived Russel and walked out...another satisfied customer.

"Ah, yeah," Russ murmured to himself, letting out a satisfied sigh as he leaned back in his chair, his hands behind his head.

Still, even in the midst of all of this success and happiness he was experiencing, he did wonder how D and Muds were doing. It had been a while...maybe he should call them? Yeah. He should call them.

….............

"Ok, D...look, change your shirt, here's a sweater...I don't want your damn bandages to get all fucked up because, TRUST ME when I say this, I will NOT do this again..." Murdoc grumbled as he removed the singer's shirt, which caused 2D to feel those pleasant little butterflies again. However, even though he had the butterflies, he felt incredibly insecure in front of the bassist. He knew he was ugly naked...especially his torso. He had cuts, bruises and scars scattered all about his stomach, chest and back. Of course, he knew Murdoc knew they were there (in fact he'd caused most of them!) but he was still nervous all the same.

And D had a reason to be nervous...he was right...the Satanist had noticed all of the scars. It was disgusting, yet, it evoked another wave of that sadness the bassist had so long struggled to numb himself to. He felt bad, especially knowing that he had done most of that to him. Shit. He hadn't realized how brutal he really used to be towards his bandmate.

"Um, well, here...wear a long sleeved shirt, like I said...go ahead, put it on...I know ye can put yer own goddamn shirt on."

Just as Murdoc had tossed the dark blue sweater at the singer the phone rang.

"Who the fuck is calling us!?" He wondered aloud.

"Go on, git dressed, go outside for a bit...get some sun and some fresh air...I'll be right out."

The singer nodded, holding the sweater up in front of his chest before slowly putting it on, watching Murdoc leave into his computer area, and heading outside.

….......

"Hello? Thanks for calling Plastic Beach, this is Murdoc speaking," the bassist answered, cheeky because he knew it had to be either some hooker or one of his old mates. It was the latter.

"Hey, Muds, it's Russ!" The other end spoke out to him.

"Russel? Really? Oh shit...wot good timing," Murdoc sighed, hardly able to believe his luck. He had just been wishing that that fat ass motherfucker would call him up. He needed some advice.

"Whatcha mean, Man? Something up?"

Murdoc scratched the back of his head. Something up!? That was an understatement.

"Um...yeah...there is. Eh...look, ye know how I talked to you a while ago about D? Ya know, the depression shit?"

"Yeah, yeah, what's up wit that? He any better?"

The drummer knew the answer obviously wouldn't be positive, but in his high spirits he still liked to hope.

"I walked in on him doing it today, Russ. He had the fucking razor in his hand, blood fucking everywhere! Ev-ery-where! I've never seen anything like it...I mean, in real life anyway...I had to bandage him up because he wouldn't stop bleeding...I had to use gauze mate, GAUZE! Not even bandaids...shit..."

Russel put his hand on his head, rubbing gently. Fuck.

"Where is he now? Can I talk to him?"

"Um...well...I just sent him outside. I didn't want him to hear me talking to you. Plus he needs some fucking air. I'm going to go out there though...I don't really want to leave him alone...he might fucking jump off of the edge of our island for all I know..."

Russel sighed.

"I need to come out there, don't I?"

There was a long silence. It was true, Muds had been angry with him for leaving. As much as he enjoyed the freedom of being able to be a complete asshole anytime he wanted without consequence, he was upset at his departure. It had sent D over the edge and it meant the fate of his band was in the hands of that fat ass rapper-wannabe fucker.

"I think you do," Murdoc replied, reluctant.

Shit, he felt like they were fucking divorcees discussing the downfall of their child or something.

"Ok, I'll book a flight for tonight...um...how the fuck do I get out to the island though when I get in?"

"I'll drive out there...I got maself a nifty little boat car."

Russel laughed, "Shit, that's fucking awesome!"

Murdoc smiled a bit, "Yeah, it's pretty ace. So, just give me a call when ye git in ok? I'll be up tonight. I don't sleep anymore."

"Ok, peace bro. Talk to ya later."

Click.

And so it was in the process...he was going to fix this shit. He WAS going to get this band back together, no matter the cost.


	4. Chapter 4

This is A Low

Ch. 4: Some Kind of Nature

_Author's Note: I bought the new Gorillaz CD today (I've been patient, but not patient enough to wait beyond the first day!!!) and I love it. Amazing. Very inspiring...good for the story too. :] --StalkerDex_

It was cloudy out and the hazy gray sky was welcoming. It was a sight he hadn't seen in a while. Not since they were forced to record that last damn music video they did...almost got them fucking killed.

He sighed, rubbing his hands along his arms. He was a little chilly, but he didn't mind. He was sitting down, just out of reach of the tide, his feet wiggling around.

"Wotcha doin'?" Murdoc questioned as he suddenly appeared at his side. He had that cute little cape on, and it was flowing very heroically in the wind. 2D smiled a bit at it, realizing the irony. Murdoc was no hero...just to him these days.

"Jus' lookin'. 'S nice, yea?" the singer replied, indicating the ocean and the sky.

Plastic Beach was really nice. Much nicer than Kong. For one thing, there weren't any goddamned zombies wandering around, and hell, who doesn't want to live on their own fucking island?

"Ye, 's nice," the bassist agreed, sitting down beside the singer.

"Look..." he continued, "I know it's been really, um, rough ever since Noodle...erm..."

"You don't 'ave ta say it," 2D muttered, avoiding eye contact, "and yes...it has been hard. But the thing is...not like it is for you and Russ...it's different for me."

Murdoc felt rage rise up from his belly.

"Wot the fuck d'ya mean it's different for you!? You think this isn't killing all of us!? You fucking...Fuck! How can you think it's any different for you!?"

Murdoc's sudden rage had caught the singer off guard, and he flinched, covering up his face. It had been a while since Murdoc had hit him, yet he still felt the need to protect himself. Panting. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Murdoc noticed the singer's fear and sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry...but seriously...how issit any different for ya? I mean, fuck, we all had that sort of father daughter relationship wif her."

"I didn't," 2D stated, defiantly.

"Wot d'ya mean?" Murdoc repeated, frustrated.

"I mean _I _didn't."

Murdoc observed the angelic singer's face...he truly looked hurt and defensive. He really hadn't the foggiest idea what the fuck he was saying, but he decided not to push it any further. A silence fell between them.

….........

_ "I dunno that you should go to that island, Love...wot's the big deal anyways? Why do you want to go there so bad?" The singer asked, somewhat playful yet somewhat serious._

_ "I don't know Stuart...I just...I just have to be there..."_

_ It was amazing how much her English had improved. It was amazing how much older she was. It was amazing how beautiful she was. But the most amazing thing?...she was his._

_ "Well, I don't understand it...and I don't feel good about it, but...I s'pose I can't stop ya can I?" He replied, staring at her as she dressed herself for her journey. She was so frail and small...just like himself._

_ "There's something going on there, Stu...and I have to stop it...it's something bad...I know it's something bad..."_

_ "Wait..." he interrupted her, she had her sweater half way on, in her underwear._

_ "What?" She asked, suddenly looking very self conscious._

_ "In case you're gone too long, Love...?" He asked, an insatiable look in his dark eyes._

_ She looked, a knowing pain in her eyes..._

_ "Oh..." she whispered as she walked over to him and sat on his lap, her legs spread. She kissed him softly at first, but when he kissed her back with far more conviction and desperation, she responded the same. She unzipped his pants, rolling her hips against his. He moaned a little as she pulled it out and slid her underwear to the side, allowing him inside of her once more. For the last time. They both knew it was the last time..._

_ "I love you," he whispered in her ear._

_ A small tear fell down her cheek, lightly moving up and down...in and out. Breathe in. Breathe out._

_ "I love you too..."_

…_..................._

"Hey, did ya hear me!?" Murdoc asked, frustrated.

"Huh?" The blue haired zombie asked, completely oblivious to the fact that Murdoc had just tried to break their silence.

"Russel is coming out to visit...so you'd better get some sleep. He's coming out tonight and I'm sure ya want to go wif me to git 'im yes?"

"Oh? Really?" A smile lit up his face. Murdoc's heart stopped.

"Yeah, really..." He choked out.

"Ok, ye...I'll try to sleep then."

And with that, the singer had disappeared inside, leaving Murdoc on his own. A deep sigh. Shit...this was getting weird.


	5. Chapter 5

This is a Low

Chapter 5: Nowhere Man

Written By: StalkerDex

_Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews!!!! :] Yes, it is still a Murdoc/2D story...don't worry!!!! I'm glad you all like the introduction of Russel back into the story. I love him, so I had to throw him in the mix. Hehe.--StalkerDex_

"Nnnn...I really don' wanna go Muds..." The singer whined, his feet up on the dashboard.

"Quit yer fuckin' whining...don'tcha wantta make Russ feel welcome? I'm sure he would appreciate ya bein' there when he flies in."

The singer sighed, his arms folded across his chest. He was a top notch pouter.

"What's the big deal?" Murdoc asked, irritated as all hell.

"I haven't been out in the world for a long time..." he sighed, adjusting the little hat he had on his head. What a fucking kid.

"Yeh, I know. Me neither...not really something I want to do. But...fuck...it's Russ, man..."

2D smiled a bit. He knew the bassist was right.

"Hey...um..." The singer opened his mouth a bit, looking a little nervous.

Suddenly, the car jerked, a loud thud and the engine went out. Fuck, they were underwater! Sinking...slowly, slowly sinking. THUD! They'd hit the ocean's bottom.

"Oh...oh...shit..." 2D whined, breathing heavily.

"Fuck...Damnit! How the fuck're we supposed to work on this car while we're in the bottom of the fucking ocean!!?" Murdoc shouted, slamming on the wheel, causing the singer to jump.

"You don't have a air tank or somefing!?" 2D cried out, grabbing Murdoc's arm.

"Don't fucking touch me!" He shouted, grabbing the neck of D's shirt, pulling his face right up to his.

"Don't hit me, Murdoc..." he breathed out, nervous as hell. He hadn't meant to grab his arm. He was just scared.

"Please don't hit me..." he repeated, breathing heavily, shaking violently.

"What'r ya gonna do about it if I do?" The bassist taunted.

He remained silent, but didn't avert his eyes. He had no answer. He wasn't even sure what he would do.

A few more seconds of rage and anxiety passed before Murdoc decided it wasn't worth it. He let go of him, pushing his frail body back into his seat.

"Look, I think I can fix it from the inside. There's a little compartment under your seat, scoot back."

D grabbed the small lever on the side of the seat as Murdoc put his hand on his chest and pushed him back. It was brief, but it caused the singer's heart to feel like it was going to explode. Again, that physical contact he hadn't felt in so long...God...how much better it would be if he could touch his skin.

"Come on, ya gotta help me a bit, grab a flashlight, git down here and shine it for me."

"Er...ok..." he replied, grabbing a flashlight from their glove compartment and squeezing down under the front of the car with Murdoc. They were both on their backs examining the insides of the car.

"See...I had it built wif a way to fix it from the inside."

2D offered a nervous smile. He knew he was full of shit...he was just guessing that he could do it from down here, and the singer hoped to God he was right. Otherwise they were both going to die on the bottom of the ocean. Fuck. Maybe a near death experience was something he could use...remind him that life is valuable and all of that shit.

"Ok, I fink this is the problem right here, look," Murdoc pointed at some thing-a-ma-jig and 2D shined the light on it, however, his attention was focused on Murdoc's face. At first glance, he really wasn't the most attractive man on the planet. 2D knew that was a big reason he was an integral part of the band. Murdoc was the brains and D was the beauty...and he was ok with that. However, after a few moments little endearing things about him would make their way to your view.

For one thing, his red eye, which at first appears to be menacing, actually enlarges and shrinks depending on his level of interest in something. Also, his hair...the way it falls into his eyes...he always has to move it (which he was at the moment) when he was trying to focus on something. Of course, the thing that really got 2D's heart racing was his body...his broad shoulders, thin frame...the way he carried himself. He was so confident, which the singer admired. His confidence was astounding.

"Well, that should do it," he stated, snapping the singer out of his state of admiration.

"Oh, ok..."

Neither of them moved. Tension thickening between them. Their shoulders were touching, and they were generating a lot of heat between the two of them in such a small space.

"What was going on between you and Noodle?" Murdoc finally asked.

"W...wot?"

"You said that losing her was different for you..." a long pause, "were you fucking her, D?"

The singer swallowed hard, extremely horrified that the truth would send the bassist over the edge.

"It wasn't just sex," he replied, "it was a lot more than just sex."

"Mmmm, I see..." Murdoc sighed, putting his hands behind his head.

Instinctively, 2D leaned in closer. He breathed in hard, realizing what he'd just done. However, the Satanist just laid there. He looked as though he hadn't even really noticed what had just happened.

"So you were in a relationship then, ye?" he continued.

"Mmmm hmmm."

"When did that all start?"

"When she was old enough to ask."

Murdoc looked over at him, a surprised look on his face, "She asked _you_?"

2D smiled softly, "yeah...I was surprised she'd want a bloke like me, too."

"Ha...wow..." the bassist muttered, looking back up, "so, uh, how'd she ask you?"

2D felt his face flush. This was getting really personal.

"Um...well..."

…..........

_ It was quiet...Kong was empty. Russel had gone out to try and drag Murdoc away from the pub. He'd been drinking a lot recently and babbling on about impending doom. No one ever knew what the hell he was on about._

_ "Hey, er, ya wanna eat somefin'?" He finally asked, trying to break the silence between them._

_ "No...not really hungry," Noodle sighed._

_ 2D swallowed hard as he watched her. Her spaghetti strap had fallen off of her shoulder, and her small breast was in very close range of showing itself._

_ "Er...your shirt, Love..." D pointed out, careful not to look at her while doing so._

_ "Oh," she laughed, "I knew about that. I was trying to get you to notice," she stated bluntly._

_ "W...wot? Really?"_

_ She smiled, "yeah..."_

_ She brushed her hair out of her face, stood up off of the couch and walked over to the nervous singer._

_ "I...you're very young..." D stammered, "...and you should no I'm not a virgin..."_

_ She laughed loudly, "of course I know you're not a virgin...that's why I want to give you my virginity. You know what you're doing. I don't want some idiot pre-pubescent teenager struggling to figure out my body doing that. I want you to. You're safe. I know you. I know you won't use me. You care for me."_

_ He stared at her for a moment. Her tiny little body pressed up against him._

_ "Besides," she continued, "I'm of age."_

…_................_

Another moment of silence passed between them.

"Shit, D. That's...um...a little scandalous," Murdoc admitted.

The singer chuckled a bit before sighing.

"I miss her, Muds. I do."

"Well...'ave ya ever thought about trying to git yourself in wif someone else?"

"No...no...I still don't know if she's dead...I mean, what if I get involved wif someone and then she shows up at my front door, Muds?"

The bassist sighed. He supposed he was right.

"Ok, well...wot about something just purely physical? I mean...really...you need some contact. I've seen how you've been reacting just to having ME fucking touch you man...you need to fuck someone."

2D felt his face getting hot. How embarrassing. He did NOT want to have this conversation.

"I...well...I know...I've done that before...but...not since her..."

Murdoc rolled his eyes, sitting up a bit and looking down at the singer. He was crazy, but...well...

"Oh..." 2D barely choked out as he felt Murdoc quickly force his lips onto his. He couldn't even protest...he was powerless.

"Look, I'm not losing you to a fucking suicide!" Murdoc spat out as he stopped kissing him and unbuckled the singer's pants, "I've got to keep this goddamned band together at any cost...ok...I will fucking do anything...and if you need a fuck...then...well...let's do it!"

2D's eyes were wide...his mind racing. However, his mouth was ahead.

"O...Ok..."

Murdoc nodded, "Ok."

2D breathed out softly as he felt himself inside of Murdoc's mouth. It was warm, and he couldn't help but moan. It felt good...really, really good. He got himself into a rhythm and nibbled softly at him, which was driving D mad. It felt so fucking amazing.

Suddenly, Murdoc pulled himself up.

"W...wait...d...don' stop..." D pleaded.

"I'm not, turn over..." the bassist demanded. As much as he hated to admit it, he was shaking with desire at this point. He'd never been with a man, and being with 2D...someone he knew would never, ever tell anyone...well, that made it worry free.

"Are you gonna..."

"Turn over."

D looked at him for a moment, a little afraid. He knew it would hurt. He'd never had anyone do something like that to him, but he had a strong feeling it would really, really hurt.

"Ok..." he submitted.

He panted loudly as he anticipated what he knew was coming. Breathe in. Breath out. There it was!

"Unnn..." he whined. It did hurt. It hurt extremely bad. However, he had to admit...he'd wanted it. So, he let him go and after just a few moments it felt amazing. He wanted him deeper inside...and he wanted it to last forever. However, he knew he was getting close.

"I'm gonna cum..." he moaned.

"Ok...ok...good...when you're ready..." Murdoc insisted.

"Ok...ok...I'm going...I'm going...I'm...."

Murdoc went quicker and felt himself violently orgasm as the singer cried out, grabbed onto anything he could find and shuttered uncontrollably beneath him. It was electric. The whole thing...fucking electric.

"Oh...wow..." the singer whispered, completely satisfied...feeling better than he'd felt in months. Perhaps his friend had been right...he really did need a good fuck.

"Ok...well...Russ is going to be in soon, we'd better get going. Zip up."

D breathed heavily, surprised at how quickly and callously Murdoc was ready to move on, but did as he was instructed. He zipped up and sat back in his seat, buckling himself.

And so they were off.


	6. Chapter 6

This is a Low

Chapter 6: Because

Written By: StalkerDex

_Author's note: Thank you again for reading you guys. Always appreciate the feedback. And to LordAizen I think you may be right. I actually noticed that before I posted it...I'm having a bit of trouble piecing everything together because I have a lot going on...plus, I did skip over a lot of detail that I normally would've included simply because I've been in a bit of a rush to get to the meat of the story (plus I was watching Seinfeld while I was writing, I confess)...I'm definitely going to put some more effort into this chapter and slow it down, take my time. Hope you guys enjoy! :D—StalkerDex_

D was sitting back in his chair, his hat adjusted securely on his head, his feet back up on the dash board. His arms were folded in protest. Murdoc could tell that he was, once again, pouting; he was fairly certain it was because of the abrupt end to what they'd just done. No 'afterglow' time.

Well, fuck, that sodder should know Muds well enough to know he wasn't into all of that cuddly shit...especially not with him. Damn...sometimes with a woman, yes, he would fall asleep next her, but it wasn't because he wanted to cuddle or be loving by any means, it was usually because he was just fucking tired.

Still, he felt a little stab of guilt in his stomach, what with 2D's fragile state and all. That was the only reason though, he was trying to help him, not rock the boat even more. Fuck. Hopefully this wasn't a mistake.

"Brace yerself...we're about to come out of the water," Murdoc warned the singer.

He slightly tilted his head and looked out the window, still with his arms folded. It was really getting on Murdoc's nerves...all of this fucking pouting.

The singer squinted his eyes a bit as they emerged into the sun. Muds pressed a small button, converting the car into a regular vehicle.

"Move over, yeah, fuck...wot? Neva seen a converting water car before!? Fuck these people..." he shouted, flailing his arms a bit, at the people who were screaming and running about the beach, stunned that a car had just come racing out of the ocean towards them.

The singer smiled a bit and faced downward, looking out beneath the brim of his hat. Murdoc chuckled a bit...it was a little funny, the freak out he'd just had.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as the singer very casually reached into his pocket, pulled out a little green pack of Newports and put one of the delicious cigarettes to his lips. He let the pack sit loosely on his lap as he lit it up and took a long drag before rolling down the window to air out the smoke.

"C'n I get one please?" Murdoc asked quietly, moving his head around as he struggled to make his way through the traffic. They were close to the airport so it was, of course, very congested.

"Mmmm hmmm," he responded softly, handing one over to his band mate. It was irritating Murdoc how cold and casual the singer was behaving. He'd never seen him act that way before.

"Is this always how ya act after fucking?" he questioned, a malicious tone to his voice.

The singer just stared out the window.

"No, jus' tired. Definitely need this," he offered a tiny, forced smile as he held up his cigarette and then put it to his lips for another drag. It made Murdoc swallow hard.

"Ye, I do to, light me?" He put it in his mouth. 2D shrugged, pulled out his lighter and leaned over, putting his hand on the inside of Murdoc's thigh, dangerously close, and flicked it on. His eyes were focused on the cigarette, but the bassist knew he was well aware of where his hand was, and, despite the sex they had JUST had, he felt himself getting another erection. The angelic-zombie noticed it, but forced himself to act like he hadn't.

Murdoc sucked the smoke in, an instant head rush...soothing and calming.

"Ta," he muttered, excusing his bandmate from leaning over him for any longer.

"Course," he responded, rubbing his thigh very briefly before removing his hand and leaning back into his seat. He turned his face towards his window and continued to smoke. The two of them both needed to calm down, otherwise Russel would get an idea about the fuck they'd just had, and that was the last thing either of them wanted.

D was pretty amazed with himself for being so...well...ballsy, but he couldn't help it. He was angry with Murdoc for ending everything so abruptly. Sure, they really didn't have the time to sit there and cuddle and discuss life and the universe or anything, but he could've at least let him catch his fucking breath before making him get dressed and ready. It was as it was presented, though, really. He said he would fuck him to make him feel better, which it physically did, but of course, D wanted and needed more than that. He'd had enough meaningless sex in his life to know better...he never liked the way he felt the next day, ever.

"Ok, keep yer eyes peeled for parking."

D sighed and flicked his finished Newport out the window and rolled up his window.

"There," he spoke quietly, pointing out his window. There was a vacant space right next to him.

"Ye, I jus' saw it," the Satanist grumbled, pulling in.

The engine turned off, leaving them in a few seconds of complete silence.

"A'right, well, let's go wait in the lobby then? We can't get beyond the gate anymore, so..."

"I know, I've been in an airport in the last ten years," 2D grumbled.

"Hey, watch you're tone," Murdoc warned, careful to keep his hands to himself. He really didn't want to touch him anymore than he already had.

The singer sighed and then opened his door forcefully, got out and shut it behind him like an angry teenager. Murdoc grumbled under his breath and got out himself, clicking the car lock shut.

They walked in tense silence towards the airport. It wasn't a very long walk, but the two of them were very careful to keep their heads down so as not to be noticed by any fans that could be lurking about. That was why D had worn a hat. It didn't cover up all that much, his spiky hair still hung out everywhere, but it seemed to do the trick most of the time anyway. Muds just put on a menacing face that kept any and all fans away...except for the women who wanted to rape him...he enjoyed their attention and he knew that anyone worth a fuck would be daring enough to approach him.

The electric sliding doors moved aside to allow them into the airport. It was amazing how electric and robotic the world had become. The world was a lot like how 2D's insides felt. Controlled movements. Rigid, controlled movements.

It was very open inside and the singer could hear the echoing of everyone's footsteps, chatter, luggage being carried and etcetera around him. It really was the song of the world, all of that assorted noise. He started to bop his head a round a bit as he walked, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his shoulders up, causing him to look very small.

"Quit slouching, ya look like a bum," Murdoc demanded, putting his hand on the small of D's back, causing him to jump a bit and correct his posture.

It was very warm where Murdoc's hand had been and he held onto that warmth for a fluttering moment before it was gone. It was cold in this fucking airport.

"Oi, there he is," Murdoc pointed out.

D looked up the automatic stairs that were in front of them. He was right. There was that lovable, enormous black man. He felt his stomach flutter. He really was excited to see him. He smiled a big toothy grin, which he was sure Russel had noticed since he returned with a bright, bleach white smile. It felt like an eternity watching him come down those stairs, and he could hardly contain himself. By the time Russ had reached the bottom the singer was running towards him ecstatically.

"RUSSEL!!!" He shouted lovingly as he jumped up and wrapped his arms around his old friend's neck.

"HEY!!!!" Russel boomed jovially as he hugged the zombie singer close to him. He was so tiny! He'd lost even more weight, which Russel found alarming, but pushed aside in the joy of the moment.

"Man, it's so good to see you guys," he smiled warmly as Murdoc trudged up to him. D had already dropped back down to the floor and was beaming at the drummer, which made Murdoc feel a little...jealous?

"Good ta see ye too," Murdoc returned, not making any physical contact with Russel, which Russ respected. That was the sort of relationship they had with one another; very respectful of one another's space.

"Ok, well, let me git yer bag...issat all ye brought?"

"Well, it was all I could afford! They make ya pay for the goddamn checked luggage and they made me pay for two damn seats because of my size and all, so I just brought on a carry on."

"Fuck," Murdoc laughed, "that sucks."

"Yeah, it does dawg...discrimination, I tell you."

"Ye, suppose so," the Satanist replied as he grabbed Russel's backpack and threw it over his shoulder, leading them all to the car.

"Does it feel nice to be offa the plane?" 2D questioned, walking quickly beside Russel, his hands no longer in his pockets but poking and grabbing at the drummer excitedly. Russ didn't seem to mind it at all though.

"Fuck yeah it does...that was a long damn flight!"

2D laughed a bit, "Ya I bet. Oh man, I missed ya Russel...it's been pretty quiet on the island. Oooh, wait til ya see it though! It's really nice there. Plus, we get to ride underwater to get there!"

Sure, now he was excited about the underwater drive. Fuck, Muds wasn't even sure if the car could handle the load of Russel's weight. Well, he'd just have to find out.

He popped the trunk open, threw Russel's backpack in, shut it and then they all piled into the car.

"You sit in the back," Murdoc demanded as he pointed to 2D.

He snorted in protest, but crawled into the back seat anyway. Russel chuckled a bit. He liked it when Stu showed his distaste for things. The banter between him and Murdoc was hilarious to him ever since the singer had started to stick up for himself.

"A-ight...so how far away is this island, Man? I'm so tired of traveling."

"'S not so bad...like an hour if I go fast."

"Right...good."

Russel shifted a bit and put his hand on his head, rubbing a bit. He really wanted to discuss the matter of 2D with him, but felt it would be best if he waited. He didn't want D involved in the conversation, so he figured he'd wait until he was sleeping at the island or something.

He crossed his feet, looking down as he did so. Suddenly, he held his breath. There was something that looked an awful lot like cum on the floor. He looked over at Murdoc, still holding his breath, only to see him staring out of the window, completely focused on the traffic in front of him. Then he checked the rear-view mirror to see 2D playing around with his iPod. Normal...totally fucking normal. That cum looked fresh though...it hadn't dried into the floor yet.

He finally breathed out and cleared his throat.

"You got a cig?" He asked.

"D's got some...Hey!" Murdoc shouted as he quickly smacked D's leg, causing him to remove his headphones.

"Wot issit?"

"Give Russ a fag."

The singer nodded, nervously grabbing for his pack and eventually managing to get one out to give to his friend.

"Here ya are..." he announced, honored to give his friend a little dosage.

"Good lookin' out," he replied, graciously taking the cigarette and putting it to his lips. This was going to be a long fuckin' trip.


	7. Chapter 7

This is a Low

Chapter 07: When I Get Home

Written By: StalkerDex

"Wow, this place is real nice," Russel marveled as they entered Plastic Beach.

"Ye, 's alright...here...you can stay in here," Murdoc said as he guided Russel to a small spare room. It was pretty nice and it of course had a nice ocean view. Tidy little room.

"Hey, sweet...thanks for giving me a clean room!" He laughed.

"Ha, yeah..." Murdoc muttered, scratching the back of his head before quietly entering the room and putting Russel's bag down beside the bed. He heard the door shut behind him and he shuttered.

"So...what's the status on the situation?" Russel asked, sitting down on the bed and staring at Murdoc. It made him feel really uncomfortable.

"Well, jus' wot I told you on the phone. He cut himself...I saw him doing it...bandaged him up and called you. He slept a while when we were waiting for your flight to come in."

"Well, that's good. It's dark now...so he'll be up all night from sleeping all day!" he laughed a bit.

"Ye, suppose so," Murdoc replied, scratching his head once again. He always did that when he was nervous.

"So...nothing else?"

"Nope. That's it. Well, I mean, he seems really happy that you're here and everything," he offered.

Russel nodded. He felt it best not to ask about the semen he'd spotted on the floor. He wasn't even sure that it anything to do with D anyway...Murdoc had probably fucked some broad while D was sleeping.

"That's cool...well...I'll try and have a talk with him at some point. I'll settle in first. Anyway, we really probably shouldn't leave him alone for too long, so...let me get changed and shit...go check on him."

Murdoc nodded before sheepishly exiting the room. He felt really tense. Why the hell had he fucked D? Now everything was just awkward and uncomfortable. Plus, they weren't even alone to deal with it now. It would've been better if he would've just let Russel try and fix the kid...that was why he fucking called him out in the first place, because he knew he would fuck it up.

He heard the shower turn on from Russel's room. He would be a while. That fucker took some long ass showers.

"Hey, hey Muds...c'mere..." 2D called out from around the corner.

"Wot the fuck?" Murdoc questioned as he came around the corner. 2D's bedroom door was open and the singer was sitting in the middle of the floor.

"C'mere," he whispered hard, waiving his arm towards him.

"Ok...?" Murdoc was utterly confused but did as he was asked.

"Shut the door," the singer commanded playfully. His eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree and his tone was excited and childish. Murdoc was getting a little caught up in the moment so he shut the door and turned around, whispering as well.

"Wot? Wot issit?"

"Russel's in the shower, yes?" He asked quietly as Murdoc sat on the floor beside him. The singer was sitting Indian style, twiddling with his hands as Murdoc sat on his butt, his hands flat behind him holding up his thin frame.

"Ye? So..."

"Well...wot we did earlier..."

"Yeah, well..."

"Shhhh," the singer urged, putting his finger to the bassist lips. He normally would've smacked him for that, but he was very intrigued by the situation and decided to hear him out.

"Wot we did earlier," he continued, still having a very playful tone as he shifted and sat on Murdoc's lap, leaning in towards the bassist's ear, "I felt like it was a little...er...rushed...?"

"Ye...well...we were in a hurry," the Satanist explained stupidly. He was nervous, his heart was beating a million miles an hour and he'd had yet another fucking stiffy.

"Yeah, well...we're not now," he murmered, a very sexy tone in his voice as he tantalizingly moved his hips against Murdoc's.

"No...I guess we're not..." he whispered back, a little breathless.

"Well, then," the singer chuckled as he put his finger on Murdoc's nose, "wot eva shall we do then...?"

"I think..." Murdoc began as he looked up at the singer, "we'll start by taking this silly little hat off of your pretty little head."

He put his hand up to the brim of the hat and gently took it off. The singer's eyes gleamed as he smiled softly and gently laid Murdoc down on the ground beneath him. It was his turn to lead the sex this time, and this time, it would be longer and better.

"Mmmm...sounds good..." he spoke in this sexy little throaty voice that was driving Murdoc mad. He'd never even heard a woman speak so sexily before.

Before Murdoc could respond D's hand had already found it's way between his legs. He rubbed very slowly...he was teasing him, and he loved it. His entire body got really hot and he could feel little beads of sweat already making their way down his face as the singer continued to move, tightening and loosening his grip. It felt really great even with his fucking pants on.

"You're teasing me..." he whined.

"Am I? Oh, well...I guess I'd better fix that then, huh, Baby?" He continued to tease as he unzipped Murdoc's pants. The bassist smiled down at his, lifting his hips up a bit to urge him downward, but it didn't make him move any faster. His black eyes stared up at him as he kissed his chest and slowly started to move down. The bottom of his ribs, his belly button, his happy trail and finally...

"Oh..." he moaned softly, putting his hand on the singers head, pushing his penis farther into the singer's warm, tight throat. He took it just fine. No gagging or anything. He just went up and down at the guidance of Murdoc's hand. He could feel his tongue wiggling all around him, causing the bassist to moan. He was better than any woman he'd ever had. Every time he would deep throat him he would lightly touch him with his teeth, which was driving him wild.

"Stoppit...come on, yer gonna make me cum. I gotta get you too..." Murdoc protested, hardly wanting him to stop.

"You want to fuck me?" The singer asked, pulling up and maintaining the bassist's erection with his hand.

"I do...yes..."

D grinned at him before scooting himself back up and lowering himself onto Murdoc. He went very slowly, inching Murdoc inside of him. It felt much better this time. They were both very sweaty and they were trembling with anticipation and fear. They knew this was something they would have to keep a secret, something that they could share with one another.

D breathed heavily as he slowly moved up and down. Murdoc closed his eyes and put his hand on the small of his back. He wasn't going to guide him this time...he was finding all of his good spots just fine.

"Fuck..." the bassist whispered.

"Wot, wot issit?" D breathed out, his eyes closed, still moving very slowly on top of him.

"You fuck me so much better than any fucking bird."

D smiled a bit, which Murdoc was beginning to find very sexy and endearing. He looked so perfect, rolling his hips softly and moaning in the deep throaty voice of his. It was dark in the room, and there was a reddish glow around them. He was getting off rather good watching D lean his head back and listening to him moan and sigh with pleasure.

"I'm going to cum this time," he panted out. They were moving so slow, but it felt so fucking INTENSE.

D just smiled and began to move a tiny bit faster.

"Here, grab me...I'm going to cum too," the singer instructed as he took Murdoc's free hand and put it on his own knob.

Murdoc didn't object and quickly moved up and down on it, tightening and loosening his grip. The singer was starting to breathe heavier as he moved faster and harder, causing Murdoc to penetrate him even deeper.

"Oh fuck," he whined, sweat glistening enticingly on his pale skin.

"Ok, ok...keep going..." Murdoc struggled to get out as he felt himself begin to orgasm. It was strong, really fucking strong, and he got extremely hot as he and the singer both screamed out in pleasure, shaking and panting. It seemed like it lasted an eternity before D finally pulled the bassist out of him and laid gently on top of him. There sweat soaked bodies touching...nothing between them. D rested his cheek against Murdoc's, his hair all matted to his forehead.

"I fink we're going to need showers ourselves," he laughed a bit.

Murdoc closed his eyes and chuckled a bit, too. That had been magical...truly magical.

D pulled himself up a bit, leaning on his elbows and looking down at Murdoc. He was truly a vision when like this. He was so calm and peaceful looking. He smiled at him softly, his breathing had slowed.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked sheepishly as Murdoc looked up at him, his hair also matted and messy. It was incredibly sexy.

"Mmmmm hmmm," Murdoc mumbled. His eyes half way open. He looked very complacent, and D felt very comfortable being affectionate with him while in that state.

He smiled and lowered his face to the bassist, kissing him very affectionate and deeply. At first it was just him, and then Murdoc responded, slipping his own tongue into the singer's mouth. They kissed very deeply for a few moments before stopping to look at one another. There were no words spoken. There were no words necessary. They both understood what this was, and they were both ok with it.


	8. Chapter 8

This is a Low

Chapter 08: See a Better Day

Written By: StalkerDex

Russel sighed a long sigh of relief as he stepped out of the small shower (far too small) and quickly wrapped a towel around his waste. It was all foggy from the ridiculously hot shower he'd just taken, so he had to wipe an oval shaped clearing into the mirror before he could see himself. He frowned. He had such a large, round shaped head. Although, it had seemed that the women really didn't mind it, seeing as he was getting plenty of ass while he was away. He supposed there really wouldn't be too much of that going on while he was visiting his two friends. No women here...not even Noodle.

He cringed a bit at the thought of her absence. Nothing had been the same ever since she had gone. It was so quiet and dead without her. She really had brought a lot of life to the studios...and he wasn't sorry to see it all burn to the ground. It sort of helped to put her behind him.

"Well..." he muttered as he stumbled out of the bathroom, which connected to his guest room, and began to clothe himself. He decided that today he was going to wear a nice, oversized blue T-shirt with a picture of a half naked black woman in the middle of it. Damn...at least he could have a picture of a female to look at!

He chuckled a bit to himself, realizing that he would pretty insane laughing there all alone like that if anyone were to see him. Of course, there wasn't anyone. He could see how all of this isolation would make D depressed...it was enough to bring anyone down. Plus, he'd noticed that loosing Noodle was particularly hard for D. He was pretty sure the two of them were having some sort of affair, but he would have to ask Murdoc if he knew anything about it.

He finished dressing himself and stepped out of his room, barely able to fit through the doorway. Fuck he needed to drop a few pounds. He looked around and everything was dark and empty...only a single red light shining from under 2D's door. He supposed he should probably knock.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He put his ear to the door as he heard a bunch of rustling around inside.

"Just a minute!" 2D shouted out.

Russel moved his face away and looked up at the ceiling, slightly crossing his arms. He heard some more hurried movements coming from inside...as well as "move over" "shhh" "he's waiting out there!".

Who the hell was in there with him? Was it Murdoc? Were the two of them talking about the prior events?

Suddenly, the door was opened and D stumbled out, a sweaty nervous little wreck.

"Woah," the drummer stated stepping back a bit, giving the drenched singer some room.

"What was going on in there?" he asked jokingly, unsure of what really was going on.

"Nofing..." D spat out staring up at the drummer, his eyes as wide as he imagined they could possibly get.

"Ugh," he heard Murdoc's voice grumble as he came walking out, totally calm.

The drummer continued to stare. Murdoc was also drenched in sweat, and the two of them both smelled somewhat sweet, like flowers.

"Is it, like, really fucking hot in there or what?" Russel asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"Ye," replied the bassist, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket (apparently he'd found some for himself) "le's go outside an' 'ave a smoke, shall we?" he urged the drummer.

"Um, yeah, sure...D...why don't you take a minute. I kind of want to talk to Murdoc for a few," The ghostly black man asked as he put his gigantic hand on D's small shoulder.

He blinked at him, looking as though it was processing in his head before he responded, "K...I'm going to the music room for a bit anyway..."

"Ok."

He watched as the singer hurriedly made his way down a flight of stairs. He stared for a moment at the empty stairway before turning towards Murdoc.

"Shall we?" He urged, heading for the front entrance.

It felt like the world was spinning around him, but he managed to follow him, his heart pounding in his ears the whole time.

There was a silence that passed between them as they exited the building, the cool and hazy air hitting both of their faces. It was calming, and he could see why Murdoc had wanted to talk outside...much more conducive to the rather tense conversation he was certain they were about to have.

"Were you two fighting in there or something?" He finally asked, taking a cigarette from the bassist, who's hair was completely disheveled.

"Er...ye..." he responded, first lighting his cigarette and then handing the lighter to Russ. He took a long drag and stared out at the ocean before looking up at the drummer.

"So, we wanted to talk then, yes?" he asked, trying to act as though everything was normal.

Russel lit his own cigarette and struggled to ignore the nagging pit in his stomach. He knew Murdoc was lying, but he really had no clue as to why the two of them were all...weird, really.

"Um, yes...well...I wanted to know what you think we should do?" he spat out, clearing his throat and taking a long drag. Fuck, the nicotine really did help. He could feel his heart beat slowing. He'd gotten rather worked up in the past two minutes or so.

"Mmmm," Murdoc mumbled, taking a hit, "Ye...well...I'm not sure, really. I mean, we really shouldn't leave 'im alone, apart from the present, too much and, er, I mean, be positive and act like a family and such, ye?"

"Yes, I agree. Now, why do you think he's so depressed? I mean, maybe it's the isolation of this place? It's not like he can go out and interact with people, you're the only person here...and, let's face it, you're not one to really interact with him, are you?"

Murdoc nodded. If only the dumb ass knew just how much they'd "interacted" in the last three hours. Fuck. In only three hours they'd already fucked twice. He put his hand up and mussed his bangs up a bit, taking note of just how erotic and excited he felt.

"What I'm saying," Russel continued, oblivious to the fact that Murdoc was lying to him, "is that maybe we should take him out to meet some girls or something? Fuck, I know that when I'm depressed getting myself a nice little girlfriend cheers me right the hell up."

Murdoc shuttered at the idea. He really didn't want to share his new found fuck with anyone.

"Er, well...I dunno...I mean...he's just trying to get over his last relationship, I dunno that he needs to dive into anover one."

Russel looked at him, and took note of the fact that he was avoiding eye contact.

"What do you mean? I didn't know he had a girlfriend?"

Murdoc shuffled his feet a bit, taking another much needed hit from his cigarette.

"Wot I mean is," he struggled to spit it out, and he finally looked up at the humongous drummer, an honest look in his eyes, "He was wif Noodle, Russ. He told me this afternoon."

Russel took in a deep breath, and he felt a bit of anger rise up in his chest, which Murdoc noted. The bassist quickly threw his hands up in defense and started to babble, "It wasn't jus' sex though...it really wasn't. He told me they had a relationship, an' believe it or not, she was the one who persued him! Said she felt safe givin' 'im her virginity and all..."

Russel breathed in again. They'd fucked. 2D had fucked his darling little girl. Noodle! Who was practically a daughter to him, and his fucking friend had been the one to steal her innocence away from her.

"Russ...hey...ya need ta calm down. Remember why you came out here? There ain't shit we can do about what he and Noodle did...she's dead Russ...she's fucking dead, so we need to focus and keep our singer alive, ye hear me? We need to keep Stuart alive."

Stuart? Why had he called him Stuart?

Murdoc noticed that the drummer had picked up on him calling him Stuart and cleared his throat before beginning to cover his tracks.

"I can't lose this band, Russ, it's the only thing I've got anymore, ok? So jus', fuckin' help me keep this kid breathin' awright?"

The drummer nodded, forcing his breathing to slow back down and taking the last drag of his cigarette before angrily stomping it out.

"Fine, but I still think we should take him out, if you want him to feel better. Fuck, look how much better he's been just since you guys came to get me? He needs some fucking social interaction, and a little pussy won't hurt him."

Murdoc felt his stomach lurch at the idea, but he forced himself to swallow it down. What did he care, really? It wasn't like D was his lover or anything, they'd just fucked twice, and only today. They hadn't even had a relationship or anything...it was just fucking mindless, easy sex.

"Ye, sure...ok. We'll go out tonight then, but ye need ta talk to 'im ok? I dunno wot the fuck to say to him."

"Fine, finish your cigarette and clean your stank ass up while I go and straighten his ass out, ok?"

The bassist nodded, avoiding eye contact once again as Russel left him out in the cold, slamming the door behind him.

This shit was fucked up. How could Murdoc call him all the way out here just to tell him half-truths and defend the fucking dirty ass sex that D had had with his asian princess? And he knew there was some funky ass shit going on between 2D and Murdoc, he was absolutely certain of that after listening to Murdoc ramble out there in the singer's defense. Normally Murdoc couldn't care less about whether or not Russel was going to have to lay a good beating on anyone, let alone 2D, whom he'd loathed for the past...well...forever. He knew something was out of order, and he'd be damned if they were going to hide it from him.

He muttered to himself under his breath as he made his way down the stairs he'd watched 2D disappear down earlier. It was a long corridor, and it was pretty twisty and windy, which made him a little sick. Eventually, however, he made it to the bottom and there was a little music room at the end. D was sitting in the middle of the giant mess of computers and instruments. Of course, his small frame was hunched over a full sized electronic keyboard, plucking out some beautiful little melody that'd probably just been whispering itself into his ear. He really did have a gift, and Russel felt his heart rate slow as he stood there and listened for a moment. It was a very melancholy little tune.

He felt really bad to have to interrupt, but...

"Hey, um, D...?" He spoke softly, so as to avoid scaring his old friend.

The singer turned around and smiled his toothy little grin at him.

"Didja hear it?" He asked childishly, "I jus' started playin' it. Crazy, huh? Ya know, I haven't been able to write in months. Been feeling too down ta do it, but I jus' came down here right now and I was able to write this."

His smile beamed it's way right into Russel's oversized heart and melted it. Suddenly he did remember just why he'd come all this way.

"Why do you think you could do it now and not before?"

2D looked down at his feet, a shy and embarrassed look coming over his face.

"I guess cos you're here, maybe?" He continued to look at his feet, which were moving back and forth between one another. He wasn't sure if he was fibbing or not.

"Well, I'm glad," Russel stated, walking over and scooching the singer over on the piano bench, there was just BARELY enough room for the two of them.

"So, uh...I heard about what happened with the, uh, cutting and all," he began.

He heard D breath in softly as he stared at the floor, "Ye...I know."

An awkward silence passed between them before Russel decided to push him a little further.

"Look, I know you're sad about Noodle, and I know you two had a thing together, but...listen, don't be a fool, ok? Do you really think that she would want you to be doing this?"

D swallowed hard before looking up at Russel, tears had already started to fall down his angelic face, which tore at Russel's heart.

"No, I suppose she wouldn't," he whimpered before wiping a tear off of his cheek.

"It's very selfish to hurt yourself, because, ya know really, you're not just hurting yourself. I mean, do you have any idea how bad it hurt me when Murdoc called me and told me what you had done to yourself? And you know what? As much as that fucking Satanic bastard would deny it, it hurts him too to see you like this."

2D sniffled a bit, continuing to rub his eyes and nose.

"I know...I know...I'm sorry...it's jus' been really, really hard. I mean...I loved her Russ...I've neva lost anyone that I've loved like that...God...I've neva even loved anyone the way that I loved her...an...an I know ya probably don't want to hear it, and I'm sure ye wantta punch me square in the face for being wif her, but...I don't care, because it was pure and it meant somefing...It really, really meant somefing, Russel. I was gonna marry her...I had given her a ring and everyfing Russel, and she'd said yes. She was going to tell everyone when she got back, and she made me promise not ta tell anyone, and, and..."

Russel felt his stomach jump to his throat. He had purposed to her?

"Shhh," Russel soothed, his head spinning. He felt a bit of a headache coming on.

"Oooh...I'm so so so sorry..." the singer cried out as he lost all control. He was sobbing, hard and his shoulders were shaking as he threw himself into the drummer's arms, which he instinctively closed around the singer, protecting him from the world around him, "I should've never, eva let go of her...I should've held onta her...I should've told her no...!"

Russel just held him close, unsure of what to say.

…......

_ They were at a lovely restaurant, which had been cleared of all customer's seeing as D really didn't want anyone to interrupt his special moment. It was dark out, and they were in a romantic, sea side restaurant with glass windows so it was like you were dining right out on the ocean, underneath the light of the moon and the stars._

_ "Wow, this is a really nice place," she giggled, touching the singer's hand from across the table. She looked so beautiful. Her hair had grown out a bit and was straightened, the way he liked it. Her frail shoulders were holding up the thin straps of her little black dress, which she was well aware drove him mad and, most of the time, all he wanted to do was whisk her right out of it and make love to her._

_ "A nice place for a nice lady," he replied, rubbing her hand and maintaining a very direct and forward eye contact with her._

_ He noticed her blush as she smiled softly at him. She was so feminine and beautiful around him. She knew she didn't have to put on that tom-boy act in front of him, nor did she desire to. She really wanted to be that mysterious, tempting woman in his life. And that she was, there was not enough of her to satisfy his insatiable appetite for her affection._

_ "This past six months has been the best of my life," he began leaning over the soft glow of the candle light in front of them._

_ "Yes, mine too," she agreed putting her hands underneath her chin and tilting her head a bit._

_ "Yes, well...I've come to realize," he went on as he got up from the table and got on his knees in front of her. She turned a bit in her chair and stared at him, clueless as to what was going on, "I've come to realize that I can't imagine life wifout you. You are the light in my life, you are the reason that I breathe and...and I want to hold on to that...I want to hold on to you..."_

_ She breathed in softly, her heart beating a million miles an hour as she watched him pull a small, velvet box from his suit jacket pocket._

_ "Oh..." she whispered._

_ "So, wot I'm trying ta say is...will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"_

_ He felt incredibly vulnerable and frightened as he watched her face. It felt like an eternity and he could feel his heart beating all over his body as she leaned over and kissed him deeply. It was a long kiss, a soft and tender display of affection, that upon it's end led to the words he'd so desperately wanted to hear._

_ "I will..."_

…_................._

Russel stroked the singer's thin back, noticing that he could feel his spine as he did so. God, he was so thin. His sobs had slowed and he was simply breathing now, sniffling every now and again.

"Are you ok?" he asked as he gently pulled him away, looking him in the eyes.

"Mmmm hmmmm," the singer mumbled as he wiped one final tear away from his pale face.

Russel sighed and decided he should probably try and lighten the mood.

"Ok, well, listen...I'm not angry with you...I mean, if you really loved her, that's fine I guess, but...we've got to get your ass laid. I know you're not ready for another relationship, but, you need some nice, sweet pussy and some bouncy big ass, so I'm going to take you guys out tonight, ok?"

The singer chuckled a bit, a warm feeling of relief washing over him. He'd been meaning to cry like that, but had forgotten about it somewhere along the way.

"Well, I don' really want that, but, uh, it sounds kinda nice ta maybe go out," he admitted as he looked up sheepishly at his old friend.

"Ok then, we'll do that," Russel smiled reassuringly at him before patting D's leg and standing up.

"Ok, well, let me just go ahead and put some cologne or something on and we'll be good to go."

2D nodded as he smiled softly at him before watching his giant friend disappear in the corridor of the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

This is a Low

Chapter 09: Slow Down

Written By: StalkerDex

Murdoc was in the kitchen. He'd cleaned himself up a bit while Russel and 2D spoke together. He hadn't showered, as was suggested, but he'd dried himself off, ran some water through his hair, sprayed on a touch of cologne (which he really hoped 2D would noticed) and changed into his usual grey sweater, blue jeans and brown Beatle boots. He was in the process of securing a rather nice Rolex onto his right wrist as he heard a putrid burp echo from the next room and the giant, heavy footsteps of Russel, who had managed to locate him.

"How'd it go?" Muds asked as he continued to focus on his watch, his back turned to the drummer.

"Well...it went...ok I guess. We are most definitely taking him out."

The bassist smirked to himself. He was pretty certain the singer had probably protested the idea of going out to get laid, but realized that no one stood a chance against Russel when he felt that something was in one of his loved ones' best interests.

"So wot makes ya say that, then?" he asked, sounding completely uninterested. He'd finally gotten his watch securely fitted and he turned around, leaning up against the counter and folding his arms across his chest.

Russel hesitated a moment, looking around nervously. He wasn't sure if D really wanted the news of his engagement with Noodle getting out.

"Um, just a hunch. He cried a bit down there. Plus, I mean, damn, have you seen how skinny he is? I mean, when I hugged him I could feel his fucking spine!"

Murdoc nodded. He had noticed the first time they'd fucked since his back was to him.

"Did he talk to ye at all about Noodle?"

Russel swallowed and looked at his feet, "Ye. He told me a bit."

Murdoc stared for a moment, expecting more of an explanation before he grew impatient and urged him further, "...and...?"

"Look, I'm not happy about it. I mean, fuck, you know she was like a child to me, Muds...and I don't like the idea of him fucking around with her any more than you probably do, but...I do believe what you said about him having good intentions and everything."

The drummer breathed in like he was going to say something else, but then he paused and breathed out.

"Wot?" Murdoc questioned, irritated as all hell that Russel was trying so very obviously to keep something from him.

Just as Russ looked like he was about to answer, 2D pushed the door to the kitchen open. He'd changed himself rather quickly into a blue shirt with some lame brand symbol on it, a black suit jacket, which had been left unbuttoned, a pair of jeans and some black boots. Fuck, he looked ravishing, especially since he'd removed his stupid trucker hat and carefully disheveled his navy blue hair. As he entered he was also followed by the alluring scent of his own cologne, which caused Murdoc to smile to himself.

"You guys all ready?" He asked excitedly as he gave Murdoc the once over and tilted his head sexily. Murdoc could tell that he approved of his appearance just as much as the bassist had his.

Russel did notice the little affectionate glances the two of them had shot at one another, and he felt extremely uncomfortable. What the fuck was going on between those two? Were they just being all buddy-buddy since Muds was trying to glue the pieces of his band back together, or was there something more going on there? He shuttered to think any further.

"Ok, erm, well...I guess we should head out then, right? Let's go get us some bitches!" Russel shouted, trying to ease himself out of the situation.

The two British men glanced at each other as their American drummer exited the kitchen. The angelic singer offered a rather adoring smile to him and, since they had a brief moment alone, he walked over, kissed the Satanist on the cheek, touched his hand for a moment and whispered, "You smell amazing, Muds."

He'd noticed.

"Ta," he said as the two of them walked out of Plastic Beach, butterflies in both of their stomachs. The weather was still pretty damn and cloudy, which Murdoc loved. It was refreshing not to have the sun pounding down on him as it normally was out in the middle of the ocean, and all of the fucking plastic just reflected it right back up at him. A fucking heat trap it was.

Murdoc reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to the car and clicked it open, allowing Russel to open the door and push his seat forward for 2D.

"Thank ya!" he chirped as he plopped into the back seat and buckled up. Russel was glad to see him behaving so joyously. He wasn't sure if he was bipolar or something, but he was still grateful he was having a moment of happiness.

"Man, this is gon' be fun!" Russ laughed, that big, huge smile of his lighting up the car.

Murdoc chuckled a bit and shook his head. What a wanker he was, but he had to admit, it was nice to have him back.

"So, we headed to Bailey's then?" the bassist asked as he started the engine and started to drive into the ocean for the third time of the day.

"Yeah, Man, sounds like fun. I haven't been there in ages!" the drummer replied as he kicked back in his seat.

2D smiled to himself as he popped his headphones in. He was thrilled to have Russel around, and getting his engagement to Noodle off of his chest really made him feel quite a bit better. He was starting to feel like his family was getting back together, and for the first time in months he felt somewhat...happy. His soft smile remained on his face even after he dosed off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

"D...hey, D...c'mon, Man, get up! We here!" Russel's voice boomed as he gently shook the singer awake. He slowly opened his hollow, black eyes and looked up at him, a confused look taking over his face.

"W...where are we?" he stuttered. He was still half asleep.

"At the fucking bar!" Murdoc laughed, amused that his friend was so out of it. Russel chuckled a bit as well before nudging the zombie-boy once again, bringing him somewhat out of his stupor.

"C'mon, D. Let's go...it's time to get our drink on Baby!"

Russel did a little butt jiggle as he said this, smiling widely. He was so excited, and it was pretty damn hilarious to see him acting like such a college kid.

2D smiled softly as he slowly made his way out of the car, stumbling a bit.

"A'ight!" Russ shouted as he led the way into Bailey's, an old Irish-themed bar that they'd used to attend back when they were working on their first album. Fuck, that was so long ago; they hadn't even been famous yet back in those days. Sometimes he felt like those were better days. He sighed a bit as he touched 2D's arm gently.

"C'mon. Le's go."

The singer smiled at him and followed. Once inside, of course, they were immediately welcomed with blaring, horrible music, tons of wall-mounted TV's, the stench of drunken sports fans and a large amount of thin, scantily clad, big breasted women.

"Oh yeah, this is what I'm talkin' about," Russel beamed as he clapped his hands together and made his way over to a petite, light-skinned black woman with a large afro and a skin tight black dress that enhanced the largeness of her ass, which jiggled around when she walked.

"Hello, my lovely lady," he greeted as he snuck up beside her. She was carrying one of those little black trays and it had quite a few beers on it.

"Oh. My. God!" she shouted as she realized just who it was flirting with her, "Russel-fuckin'-Hobbs!"

"In the flesh," he stated, holding his hands out so she could take a real good look at his enormous, blubbery body. She seemed rather turned on by it.

"Well, well, well, what c'n I do for you boys then?" She asked, chewing a piece of gum and looking at the other two members of the Gorillaz before her.

"We were just hoping to sit down and get a few beers...and if I play my cards right...maybe a lovely, beautiful woman such as yourself to keep me warm tonight?"

He was leaning in very close to her at this point. 2D was completely amazed at how quickly he had found someone to be so forward with. It was a gift of his, though. While D had always been somewhat shy, Russel had always been one to seek out the ladies. Murdoc, of course, just naturally attracted them and had to put very little effort into getting a good fuck out of them, while the singer was considered to be more of an adorable puppy to women. Granted, he knew he could sleep with any of them if he'd really wanted to, he'd only done so on a few occasions. He supposed he was more of the romantic type, and the women picked up on that.

"Well, we'll see how you play your cards then, Love," the waitress responded, "this way boys."

She shook her hips extremely seductively as she led the three musicians to a tall, round table with a giant picture of a half naked woman on it. Jesus...could this place be any sexier?

"Here ya are. So, what can I get you boys started with?"

The three of them were sitting down now, and Russel chimed up first.

"I'll have myself a dozen hot wings and some chili fries please, and of course, a nice cold glass of your freshest beer my dear."

"Oh, of course," she retorted, sticking her hip out a bit as she wrote his order down, "and you my dear?" she asked as she looked towards the zombie singer.

"Erm, do ya 'ave anyfing for vegetarians, Love?"

"We sure do, how about some fried up veggies? You like those?"

"Oh yes, very much. I'll 'ave that then and a beer, please. Ta very much."

She smiled as she wrote his order, "of course cutie pie. And you?" she turned her attention towards the Satanist, a bit of an offended look on her face. Murdoc had caught her glance and suddenly felt very self-conscious. It wasn't too often, but occasionally he would run across a woman who just found him to be vile, and he figured she was one of them.

"Er, well, I would like a beer and some chili fries, please, nothing else. Thanks."

"Sure. Ok boys, well, that'll be right out for you. I'll bring those beers in a just a moment."

"You got it Honey Buns," Russel responded.

Murdoc shot him an irritated look as she walked away, "'Honey Buns'?"

"What!?" Russel laughed, throwing up his hands in a defeated manner, "did you SEE that ass!?"

Murdoc sighed and smiled at him, "Ye, ye, I sawr it."

2D laughed a bit to himself, "so, this is a bit like the ol' days, innit?" he asked as he put his elbows on the table and held his head up with his lovely hands.

Murdoc couldn't help but notice that D no longer looked sickly, but he was glowing. His skin was white, of course, but more like porcelain than a sick dog like before.

"Ye, sure is."

"Alright boys!" the waitress's voice suddenly interrupted, "here are your beers!"

"Oh, thank you..." 2D said graciously as she passed the beers out. He really had needed one, and he eagerly took his first sip. Heaven!

"Yes, thank you," Russel agreed as he eyed the waitress.

"No problem boys, I'll have your food shortly, ok?"

"Mmmm, hmmm."

She smiled at Russel one last time before hopping away, her skirt lifting up just enough for you to see the bottom of her ass as she did so. Murdoc had to admit, she was pretty sexy. He swallowed hard as he realized he and 2D hadn't really discussed what they had planned to do in this situation. Were they just fucking each other? Or was it like he'd presented it, just sex to help him get the physical closeness that he so obviously needed. He felt a pit form in the bottom of his stomach as he realized he truly had no clue as to how he was supposed to act in this situation. Although, he supposed from what he'd told D before, it was pretty clear that they weren't an item, and they hadn't discussed the idea of being an item, so he figured maybe he should try and get himself a bird for the evening. Of course, he figured he'd test the waters by maybe trying to get D set up with someone first. If he went for it, well, then, it wasn't an exclusive relationship that they were in.

"So, what do you guys think we should do while I'm up here? I mean, obviously I think we should get out a few times to fuck around with the girls, but...otherwise. What do you guys have in mind?"

"Uh, well...I would really like ta play some music, if that's awright wif you guys?" 2D chimed in, a nervous look on his face. It had been a while since the three of them had made music, and the last time they had, it was without Noodle, which was awkward. He supposed that was why they'd never really wanted to do it again...it was just too fucking weird.

Murdoc and Russel looked at each other briefly before Murdoc spoke up, "Well fuck yes! That's wot I've been tryin' ta do fer fuckin' ages!"

Russel nodded, "Yeah, Man, I think it would be really good for us to do that. I mean, damn, our last album was just released, and of course it was another major success, but it would feel fuckin' good to work on some more shit. A phase four."

"I agree," Murdoc insisted before looking at 2D, who had a look of uncertainty on his face.

"Wot's the matter D?" Murdoc asked, frustrated.

"Well, I mean, I jus' wanted ta play. I dunno about phase four an' all that. I mean, we jus' released phase three...I...I jus' dunno...I mean, maybe we should wait a bit..."

An awkward silence fell between the three of them before Murdoc took a large swig of beer and leaned in close to the singer, jealousy and anger rising in his chest.

"Wot...d'ya fink she's gonna come back, D? Is that wot it is? Ya wanna wait for her to jus' magically appear again before we make anyfin' else?"

"Hey, calm down..." Russel attempted.

"Shut up, fat ass!" Murdoc shouted, causing a bit of attention to focus on the three of them. The waitress had noticed.

Russel wanted, with all of his heart, to sock that fucker in the face for yelling at him, but decided to sit back for a moment because, in all honesty, he was a little interested in what 2D had to say for himself.

"So, issat it? Issat it, D? You fink she's gonna come runnin' back to us and fix everyfin'?"

The singer swallowed hard. He hadn't meant for this to happen, and he felt a stab of guilt in his stomach. He knew Murdoc was angry because of the fuck they'd just had, and justifiably so. He had initiated it, and he had made it so passionate and intense...why the hell would he do that if he was just planning on running away with Noodle in the event that she returned. He knew this was why Murdoc was angry, but, at the same time, he knew at this moment, he couldn't promise his heart and soul to the Satanist because, quite frankly, he hadn't any closure to her disappearance. It wasn't like she'd just died and everyone knew about it...there was still a chance that she was out there, and he hoped that if she were in the same situation as he was, she would wait for him too.

Murdoc stared at him and his lack of an answer made him feel sick. He was just silent, staring at him with those empty eyes. It was a shame because he looked so fucking good at that moment. His blue hair all mussed about, his glowing, angelic skin, his lovely eyes, his small, frail and almost feminine body. Fuck it all.

"Ok. I see," Murdoc muttered as he took a swig of his beer. A long moment of silence fell between the three of them before the waitress came up to their table with their meals.

"Here ya are, boys. Um...is everything alright?" she asked, aware of Murdoc's outburst.

"Yes, my dear, everything is just fine."

She nodded, "My name is Sherry."

Russel smiled warmly at her, "well then Sherry, how am I playing my cards tonight?"

She smiled back at him, beautiful as all hell, "just right Honey, so eat that meal up quick, ok, because I'm going to go ahead and get my shift covered."

"Well, alright then," he laughed, a little shocked, "we'll be quick then, Baby Doll."

She winked at him before walking away, again, swinging her hips tantalizingly.

2D sighed, now it was just depressing to watch him, even as he was desperately scarfing his food down so as to get his sex on. He averted his attention to Murdoc, who was moving his fries around, uninterested. He had lost his appetite.

Fuck, 2D really was a fucking dim-wit. He knew that he was aware of what Murdoc had said, and a part of him wanted to forgive him given that fact, but the other part of him was just so fucking angry. He found himself looking at two young women at the table beside them. One was blonde, one was a red head, and they both had killer, perfect bodies. Yep, these were the ones. He knew that he would absolutely have one of them, if not both, before the night was over.

The singer noticed him staring at the two skanks beside them, and he felt jealousy rise up inside of him, nearly choking him. He literally felt like he couldn't breathe for a moment, before he turned his attention to Russel. He breathed in, his face getting hot, and spoke loudly enough for Murdoc to hear.

"I fink you're right, Russ. I do need ta get laid tanight. I'll be right back..."

Murdoc turned around and stared at him, along with Russel, as the singer hopped off of his chair, walked over to a really short, cute blonde girl a few tables away. Her shortness actually led her to have a really curvy body. She certainly wasn't the typical fashion magazine model bitch that most of them went after, but she carried the ten to fifteen extra pounds gracefully, and D felt confident as he touched her arm softly.

"'ello, I couldn't help but notice you, Love, as I was sitting wif my friends over there."

"Oh..." she stated, her blue eyes wide. Her blonde ponytail whipped around as she turned her head to her friends and back to the singer, "you're 2D, from the Gorillaz, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. Wot's your name, Love?"

She smiled warmly at him, "Dex. Nice to meet you, 2D."

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine," he whispered as he pulled her face close to his and kissed her softly. It was a long, affectionate kiss and it was like a stab in the heart for Murdoc to watch.

"We're heading back to Plastic Beach in just a few, would you be interested in joining us?"

She nodded her head, "I'd love to."

"Ok, then, I'll be over there by Russel and Muds, ok?"

She nodded once again before turning to look at her friends, an excited look on her face, "Alright then, I'll be right there."

"Great," he replied before casually walking back over to the table, picking up his beer and downing the rest of it.

"Nice!" Russel applauded, smiling his big old fat grin.

Murdoc looked at the singer, who shot him an angry glance. You could practically feel the tension between them.

This was going to be an interesting night.


	10. Chapter 10

This is a Low

Chapter 10: Bad Head

Written By: StalkerDex

_What happened to us? Soon it will be gone forever. Infatuated only with ourselves, and neither of us can think straight anymore. Well you and I, collapsed in love and it looks like we might've made it, yes it, looks like we've made it to the end..._

_-Blur, To The End_

The car ride back to Plastic Beach had been squeezed and awkward. Murdoc, of course, had been driving. Russel sat in the front passenger seat with Sherry on his lap. Murdoc's two whore girls were each sitting in the back on either side of 2D, who had little Dex on his lap, whispering sweet nothings into his ear the whole ride. He knew he had made Murdoc extremely jealous, and he took great pleasure in that seeing as he'd hurt him by choosing to come home with those two tramps. However, he wasn't certain he had it in him to fuck this adorable, small girl.

She was currently beneath him, laying sweetly on his blue bed sheets. She was beautiful, with perfectly tweezed eye brows, bright blue eyes and a heart shaped face. Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. But she was no Murdoc...

"Are you ok?" she asked softly, looking up at him with those adorable blue eyes. They'd been kissing softly for a while, and D knew he was in a situation where he should please her.

"Er, ye...I s'pose."

She titled her head a bit and half smiled at him, "Now that sounds like a little white lie, my dear."

He smiled at her and laughed a bit, "Well, yeah. Wot I mean is...look, c'n ya keep a secret for me, Love?"

"Of course, definitely," she replied, a quiet and feminine tone to her voice as she brushed a lock of his blue hair behind his ear. She really was quite sweet, and if he weren't already so damn hung up on Murdoc, he probably would've pursued something with this girl.

"Well, I've been rather depressed as of late..."

…........

Murdoc watched, uninterested, as the two girl's kissed each other passionately. They were, of course, trying to get him geared up for sex. He was horny, and he knew he would have no problem keeping it up to fuck them silly, but...quite frankly...he didn't want to. His mind kept roaming back to the thought of 2D, in his own bed...fucking that little bitch. God, it made him want to throw up the more he thought about it. So, he decided to jump all over the chance to forget.

"C'mere girls...c'mon..."

They both stopped and smiled at him. The brunette was the first one to go for him, crawling on all fours in his direction before arriving at his knees. He was sitting down in a chair and her face was just level with his erection. She giggled a bit as she unzipped his pants and pulled it out, placing her mouth on the tip of it. It felt just as he'd expected...pleasant, but not amazing. As she was rhythmically giving him head, the blonde kissed and bit at his neck. He closed his eyes and started to zone out. It was all he could do to keep himself from getting sick.

_Here ya go again, Mudsie..._

…_........_

"Well, this is a really, um, unique place..." Sherry said as she looked out of the window to the ocean. It was really nice, aside from the fact that everything was plastic.

"Yeah, well, I don't live with the band anymore. Not since Kong burned down."

She turned to him, surprised.

"I'd wondered where you'd been," she admitted, a deep sadness behind her eyes.

Russel looked at his feet, guilt washing over him. Although they had acted as though they didn't know one another at the bar, they did. Sherry had been his girlfriend for years. She was there with him from the beginning; before The Gorillaz became famous. She'd always been so supportive and positive, and he returned the favor by running off for a few months and telling her nothing about it.

"I know. I'm sorry, Sherry, I really am. It wasn't you. I love you. It's just...I had to get away. After Noodle died, and the studios burned...it was just so fucked up. I had to leave."

She nodded and looked down at her folded arms. They were in Russel's guest room, sitting on the bed together.

"I know what you're saying, Russel baby, but...I just don't know if I can believe you. And even if I can, I don't know that I can accept it."

He nodded. He'd figured as much; even so, he felt his heart sink to the floor.

"So why are you back then?" she asked, struggling to find something comfortable to discuss between the two of them. The air had gotten rather stifling and sticky with the awkward silence.

"For 2D. He's been depressed. It's been getting really bad, so Murdoc called me to settle things. You know me, I take care of everything," he stated the last bit sarcastically and defeated.

"Oh. Well, you know Russ, you can't fix everything."

"I know, but they always expect me to," he sighed to himself. He knew that this situation was bigger than him. Hell, it was bigger than all three of them. How the fuck could he make things better? Deep down inside, he knew he really couldn't.

"It's ok, Russ," Sherry comforted as she put her hand in his lap. He smiled at her, completely in the mood to just drink himself into oblivion and fall asleep.

"No, it isn't," he replied before returning his gaze to the floor.

_No, it fucking isn't._

…_.............._

"So that's wot's going on then. He's in the ova room 'avin' 'is way wif those girls and I wish that he wouldn't, but there's noffin I c'n do about it, so I brought you here. I'm sorry, I hope you don't feel used," D finished up, looked at her nervously. She was still laying beneath him, and she had her hands on the collar of his suit jacket, a thoughtful look on her face.

"Wow, that's quite a situation," she stated.

"Ye, it is innit?" he chuckled a bit before sighing and laying his face down on her shoulder. He could feel her breathing lightly into his ear.

"Well," she began, sounding like she really had no idea what to say to him, "then I suggest that you tell him I guess. I mean, you guys have been having sex but not telling each other how you feel. How can you know what he wants with you unless you tell him? And vice versa! I mean, really? You can't have a relationship with someone without honesty."

He sat quietly in the nook of her shoulder.

"I guess you're right," he sighed, "but...how c'n I be wif him after I know he's been in there fucking, not just one, but two girls!? I mean...I know we're not really togeva, but, I still feel a little cheated on," he stated honestly.

"Yeah, I know. I would feel the same, Stu. But, well, you're just going to have to put it behind you. You know he's in there doing that because of the same reason you asked me to come home with you. He's probably hurting, just like you."

He hadn't considered that, however, he still felt a pit in his stomach as he realized he really hadn't a clue what he would do if Murdoc really did fuck those girls, despite what Dex had just told him.

"I fink I'm in love him," he confessed to her, looking her over for some sort of answer.

She shrugged at him apologetically, "I'm sorry, Honey...I don't know what to say..."

_Neither do I._

* * *

Meanwhile...

She was sitting on a large piece of driftwood, sunburned and dehydrated. She had fallen asleep for a bit and only woke up once the wood had landed roughly against the beach. She looked up, breathed heavily, and dropped her head down into the sand. She hadn't the energy to go in yet. She just wanted to sleep. So, she closed her eyes and allowed her thin body to remain collapsed atop the driftwood as the waves from the ocean softly washed up upon her, keeping her damp. She was glad the sun had gone down, it made it easier to rest. Her black hair was covered in sand as she fell fast asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

This is a Low

Chapter 11: Miss You

Written By: StalkerDex

_ It had been a perfect, beautiful night. After the proposal, they had eaten and shared pleasant conversation until they found their way home and made love several times throughout the night. Now, the dawn was breaking, peaking it's way in through the blinds and silently nudging them both to wake. Noodle moaned to protest it's urges, however, they both found themselves opening their eyes, pleased to see one another. He remembered how beautiful she'd looked in that moment, seeing the woman who was to be his future wife. Her soft, pink lips, beautiful black eyes, jet black hair and skin that glowed like a porcelain doll. She was absolute perfection, and he couldn't believe that she had agreed to be his for the rest of their lives._

_ He smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her passionately. It was long and tender, and they eventually began to roll around a bit, slowly. She murmured here and there as he asked her if he could be inside of her yet again. Of course, he knew he could. He knew he could for the rest of his life. So he did, tenderly, softly. It was slow, yet his heart was still pounding in his chest. He felt feverish at the warmth she provided. Every curve of her body was so familiar, yet, he still needed to explore. He could feel his lips mapping out her entire body, drinking in every detail. She was a Goddess, and he swore at that moment he would never, ever let her go, no matter what...for better or for worse..._

…_..........._

"Oh!" He shouted as he sat up from bed, drenched in a cold sweat, heart pounding widly.

"What!? What is it!?" a female's voice cried behind him. He felt his heart flutter and his stomach lift...Noodle?

Alas, it wasn't.

"Noffin', Dex...I jus' had a bad dream, 's all. I'm sorry."

Her blue eyes were wide, and her blonde hair was a tangled mess all around her. She still looked rather charming though. She smiled nervously, "Oh, oh...ok. No problem. I was already awake. It's morning."

He squinted a bit and looked around. She was, indeed, correct. It was morning. He felt a hole in his stomach as he thought about the long night he'd just had. The awkward silence that he'd suffered as Dex laid beside him, disappointed that he hadn't pleased her the way she'd hoped and, just as he was about to force himself to sleep, the moaning and screaming that was coming from Murdoc's room. Everything had been absolutely fucked.

"Ugh," he grunted as he put his hand in his hair and struggled to control it. He knew he had to get out of bed; he knew it, but he dreaded the idea of what lied just beyond his door. He wasn't sure if he could take it. However, he knew he had to man up and walk out that door.

A long, deep sigh escaped his lips as he got out of bed, leaving Dex to relax. His hands were shaking. He'd dreamt of her again, and it made him want to die. He never felt right after a dream like that...never.

As thoughts of giving up raced throughout his mind, he allowed himself to go into autopilot as a sort of protection mechanism while he got dressed. A white shirt with a giant red question mark on it and some jeans. To rid himself of his morning stench, he also decided to spray on some men's body spray. There. Decent. Now, breathe in. Walk to the door, turn the knob. Breathe out...and...open.

She shut his eyes for a moment, heart pounding in his ears, and then opened them. There was Russel, sitting at the dinner table, a cup of coffee in hand. He looked rather down.

"G' morning, Russ."

The giant, ghostly drummer looked up at him and offered a half-assed smile.

"Morning, D. How was you're night?"

His sausage-y finger was going round and round the brim of the cup.

"Er...ok. Well, not that great, really," he sighed as he pulled out a chair across the small, round table. He sat and looked expectantly at Russel, "wot about you?"

"Ha. About the same, actually."

2D nodded his head and sat in a moment of awkward silence before mustering up the courage to follow up on that.

"Why was your's so bad? Didn't you like that Sherry girl?"

Russel stopped moving his finger and stared at the cup for a moment before looking up at him, causing him to swallow hard. He was always nervous when Russ was like this.

"I do, D. That's the problem. I mean, look, I know we acted like we didn't know each other and everything last night, Dog, but...she's been my girl for years. Fuck, I haven't even introduced her to you guys after all of this time. I fuckin' hid her from the world, and she put up with that shit, Man. And how do I thank her for that? I fuckin' run off because I can't handle my shit...and I didn't even tell her! So, she talks to me about it last night and we end up havin' this fuckin' argument and then she left me. She left me, D...!" He blurted as he put his hands on his head and rubbed hard, as though he wanted to pull himself out of his skin.

2D watched him for a moment, unsure of what to say. Before he could say anything, however, the drummer spoke up.

"Lookit, I'm sorry, D. You don't want to hear all of this shit. Fuck...you've got enough on your plate. So what was the deal? That girl wouldn't fuck you?"

By now he had his arms rested on the table, a concerned look on his face. He had this amazing ability to shut out his own emotions and take care of his loved ones. It was something the singer truly admired.

He scratched his arm nervously and sighed. Well, really, what did he have to lose? He'd already lost everything anyway.

"Russel, if I tell ya somefin', do ya promise not ta freak?" he asked, a desperate and frightened look on his face.

"Yeah, sure, anything, D. Anything," he replied, feeling his stomach sink. He was very scared of what he was about to hear.

"Um, well...I couldn't. I couldn't sleep wif her."

That was it!?

"Oh, um, well...that's ok, D... erectile disfunction is a common problem and nothing to be ashamed of..."

"Wot!? No, No...not that...!"

Russel nodded, "Ok, because, what you should really be concerned about is if you have an erection lasting longer than four hours, because that shit will fuck you up, Man. It will fuck- your- shit- up!"

D squinched his face a bit, "Can we be serious here for a minute?"

"I am being serious," Russel insisted. The crazy part is that he really was. D sighed before continuing.

"I couldn't," he said, looking his bandmate square in the eye, "because I'm in love wif someone else."

Russel couldn't hide the look of shock that was on his face. It hadn't been that long since Noodle's disappearance, how could he move on so quickly?

"With who?" he asked stupidly, staring wide eyed at the singer.

D felt his heart start to pound again and his stomach lurch. There was no turning back now.

"Wif Murdoc," he stated bluntly.

"W...What!?" Russel blurted.

"Shhh, shhh!" D put his finger to his lips and stood up. He really meant it.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Russel whispered, "I just...what the fuck? When did all of this happen????"

"Yesterday. We kind of...well...we had sex."

Russel's eyes got even wider, which D thought would be an impossible feat.

"You...you had sex...?"

"Twice."

"You had sex twice."

"Yes."

"You had sex with Murdoc."

"Yes."

"You had sex twice with Murdoc."

"Yes! Bloody hell! Yes!" He whispered harshly as he struggled to keep things quiet.

"I'm sorry...I just...Fuck."

"I know, I know..." he sighed as he sat back down. The two men were calming down and D could tell Russel was ready to give advice.

"Ok, well...does he know this?" he asked, taking a casual sip of his coffee.

"Well, no. No...he said he was only doing it to keep me happy. He said I needed physical contact and wotnot so he said if I needed it then he would do it for me."

Russel nodded, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Well, you need to tell him, D. You know that right?"

"Yes, I know. I jus'...wot if he doesn't feel the same?"

Russel sighed. He knew there was, like, a 99.9 percent chance that D was right on that one. However, he would've bet money just a few moments ago that Murdoc would never, ever sleep with a man, let alone 2D whom he seemed to hate so much.

"That's a risk all lovers have to take," he admitted, "I mean, weren't you afraid to tell Noodle you loved her?"

"Well, no...she told me first."

"Ok, well, have you ever had to tell anyone you loved them first?"

"No...I haven't. Noodle is the only person I've eva loved up until now."

The singer was shuffling nervously in his chair. He couldn't believe he was actually having this conversation. However, after that dream, he knew he couldn't lose another love.

"Then now's the time. You need to tell him, D."

He nodded. He had already known this, but he was really hoping Russel might have some other magical and easier solution for him.

"Ok," he sighed as he stood up, a determined look on his face, "I'm gonna go talk to 'im. Are those girls gone yet?"

Russel nodded, "yes, they left a while ago. Called a cab. Don't know how the fuck they got out here, but, hey, I don't ask questions."

The singer smirked. At least he didn't have to worry about getting Murdoc alone. His heart was racing and everything seemed to be a blur as he walked to Murdoc's room, opened the door and let himself inside. It was a mess, beer cans laying everywhere, panties on the floor, and Murdoc sprawled out on the bed, naked with a blanket covering his mid section. He swallowed as he walked over quietly and rubbed Murdoc's arm, causing him to stir a bit.

"Nnnn...wot...wot issit?" he grumbled, a truly sadistic tone to his voice. He didn't really want the singer in his room.

"I...I need ta talk to ya, Muds," he stated, a bit of force behind his words.

"Ugh, fuck, come back at a decent hour, you sod. I had a late night," he rolled over as he said this putting his arm over his head as though it would hide him from the persistent singer beside him.

"Muds, I really, really need ta talk to ya," he insisted, running his finger down the back of the Satanist's neck, which sent delightful shivers down his spine and straight to his penis. Fuck, he'd given him a stiffie just touching his fucking neck. He sighed and rolled back over, totally unashamed of his now showing erection.

"Wot, then...wot issit? Wot the fuck is so important?" he demanded, an irritated look on his face.

"First off...didja sleep wif those girls last night?"

Murdoc stared at him. How the fuck was that any of his goddamn business?

"Well, didjoo sleep wif that fat fuck you brought home?"

2D was kneeling by the bed and he touched Murdoc's hand. His skin was soft and warm; very pleasant. Murdoc could feel his anger melting away. How could he stay mad at him...even if he did fuck that girl.

"No," he answered honestly, looking Murdoc straight in the eyes. He could tell he was being honest.

He nodded, laying quietly on his pillow with a blank look on his face. He opened his hand up and held gently onto D's fingers. Forgiven, completely and totally forgiven.

"I didn't either," he confessed, looking up at the singer.

"But I heard moaning...?" he protested, hurt that Murdoc would lie to him.

"No, I know. I didn't say there wasn't any sex. I jus' said that I wasn't a part of it."

The singer was starting to feel a headache coming on. He didn't get it and Murdoc could tell, a sleight irritation showed on his face.

"Fuck, you Dullard, I started to fool around wif them and I jus'...I couldn't do it, Mate, so I told them to fuck off and they just started fucking each ova...I went ta sleep, my conscience clear. Ye get it now?"

2D felt his heart flutter a bit and that giant, toothy grin of his took over his face. Murdoc struggled to hide the affection he was feeling, "so...issat it? Was that the big important talk?"

"No, no...there's somefing else."

Murdoc stared at him for a moment, "well, out wif it then?"

2D looked down at the bed, avoiding eye contact, "I'm sort of in love wif you, Muds."

Murdoc's eyes widened. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He pulled his hand away from the singer, causing him to feel sick. He could see how hurt the singer was by his action, and he quickly touched his face, sitting up in the bed.

"I...fuck...um...listen...I'm...I care fer ye and all, but...well...I'm not quite...THERE yet...but, um, I am interested in, well, bein' exclusive if that's wot ye want? Ye know, ye can be my, er, I guess boyfriend and all."

2D was starting to feel a bit better and was pulling out of the violent hurt he'd just experienced. He decided to make eye contact again and, though he could tell Murdoc was having a hard time with it, he could tell he was being sincere.

"Ok then. No sleeping wif ova people. Jus' us. You an' me."

The Satanist nodded, "now c'mere. Let's kiss and make up," he urged, a cheeky tone to his voice as he pulled the singer up onto the bed, kissing him deeply. 2D kissed back quickly and passionately, desperate for his touch. He had been so afraid the last 12 hours plus. He greedily grabbed at his shirt, pulling it above his head, just breaking there kiss long enough to do so before violently pushing them back together. He moaned between his breaths, aching to have his lover inside of him.

"Strip, strip..." he breathed out.

"Ok, ok..." Muds replied as he undid his pants. The singer was also undressing himself. Once they were done ripping their own clothes of Murdoc pushed the singer down onto the bed, reigniting their kiss and thrusting himself inside of his friend, causing him to moan and writhe in pleasure. He dug his nails into his back and Murdoc grunted a bit, showing that he enjoyed it. He was slamming himself in and out, each of them clawing and scratching at one another, hungry for more. D was literally screaming as Murdoc hastily moved and bit his neck, hard enough to draw blood. He loved it and he clawed into the bassist's back even harder, also drawing a bit of blood. It was but a few minutes before the two of them were climaxing together, and even Murdoc yelled out as he began to shake violently. D panted heavily as he watched him orgasm simultaneous with himself. It was amazing to see him like that, and he was certain he'd caught a glimpse of heaven as he saw him cry out and then show complete and total peace, collapsing down on top of him. They both panted heavily for a few moments before they kissed gently, too tired to exert any more force.

"Fuck..." Murdoc sighed as he rested his head in the nook of 2D's shoulder. He was exhausted and invigorated all at once, "lookit whatcha do ta me," he sighed before drifting off a bit.

The singer smiled, happiness overwhelming him before dozing off himself. He'd never felt more at home in this God-forsaken plastic prison.

….........

Russel smiled to himself, even though he felt a little uncomfortable with the sex he'd just heard erupting from his band-mate's room. Apparently, the talk had gone well.

"Well, there's a first time for everything," he whispered to himself as he went to go and sit on the couch, however, he heard a tiny knock at the door, stopping him in his tracks.

"Sherry!" he said excitedly as he sort of skipped over to the door, hoping and praying it was her. He opened the door, just waiting to see her face and...

"Oh my God..." he gasped as he stared at the figure before him.

"Hello, Russel. Can I come in please?"

His heart pounded in his chest as he struggled to find words.

"Yes, yes...come in baby girl, come in. We've been waiting for you."


	12. Chapter 12

This is a Low

Chapter 12: If You Want Me...

Written By: StalkerDex

Love. We are all connected. Our hearts and souls are all floating around in space; the very air we breathe. We are literally surrounded by the energies of each and every soul on our planet. So, in this event, what are the odds that we meet our one, true love and they too love us back? You've heard of unrequited love, which I find is far more likely to occur in the billions of love sick hearts zipping throughout our universe. It's easy to fall in love, the hard part is finding someone who feels the same. And, if you are lucky enough to find the other half, the part that completes you, what do you do when they are gone? What do you do if they die or they leave you? Are they the only piece of the puzzle that can fit snuggly with yours? Or is there a chance that there's more than one person out there who can make you whole? And, in the event that you lose hold on your first love, aren't the odds even greater against you to find another person who can make you feel the same, if not better? What are the odds...what are the odds...?

"Here, here's some water Noodle, girl. You look so thirsty," Russel crooned as he handed the sunburnt woman a glass.

She greedily gulped it down with her chapped lips. She looked so run down...her black hair a sandy mess. Her clothes were torn and tattered against her frail, far too thin shoulders.

"Thank you," she gasped as she'd finished her drink. She breathed shallow and quick as she stared at the table. She had a sick feeling in her stomach. She knew something was wrong.

"Where is Stuart?" she questioned, her eyes looking up at Russel. He felt his heart skip a beat as he remembered just where he was.

"Um, let me get him for you. He's asleep. We had a rough night," he admitted. She nodded her head, giving him the okay to retrieve her love. He sighed deeply as he walked towards Murdoc's room and let himself in.

The two of them were fast asleep, bundled underneath the covers. He felt an incredible sadness at the situation as he quietly walked up and tapped 2D on his shoulder. Murdoc was snoring quietly on his other one; they looked so peaceful.

"D..." he whispered.

The singer stirred a bit and slowly fluttered his eyes open. He'd only been asleep for moments, but he felt like hours had passed.

"W...wot're ya doin' in here?" he mumbled, a soft tone to his voice. Russel shuddered at the idea of revealing the situation that was currently unfolding.

As the singer struggled to wake himself, his lover also opened his eyes. He lifted his head and, just as he was about to yell at Russel for so rudely entering his room uninvited, Russel lifted his finger and shushed him.

"Shhhhh! Quiet! Emergency!"

Murdoc shut his mouth and blinked, staring expectantly and nervously at the drummer.

"Wot issit?" he asked quietly, taking note of the fact that Russel had been whispering.

"Noodle is here..." he blurted, looking sympathetically at D, who's eyes widened as his jaw dropped.

"Wot? How...?" he whined, putting his hand on his head. A fucking intense migraine was pounding at him suddenly.

Murdoc felt his heart sink as he, too, put his hand against his head, "fuck."

Russel nodded, "um, I'll let you two get dressed. You need to come talk to her, D. She's asking about you."

The singer nodded, but felt as though he was going to die. How could she show up now? After all of this time? He finally decides it's time to move on and she decides to come back.

He watched silently, his thoughts racing, as Murdoc got out of bed. He was putting his jeans on, his back turned to the singer. He was so amazing, a perfect body as far as he was concerned.

"Git dressed, D," the Satanist stated flatly, a slight hint of sadness in his voice.

"I dunno wot ta do," he admitted as he began to dress himself.

"I think it's pretty bloody obvious. We jus' started doing this fuckin' yesterday. You an' Noodle were togeva for much longer, and she came back fer ya. You know wot ya need ta do, D," he replied, turning around and staring at the man he'd just made love to. It was hard to say, and it wasn't at all what he wanted, but, if he was going to keep this band together, he figured it'd be easier for him to get over their love than it would be for Noodle. She would leave again if D chose him, which was something he could not afford.

2D reached out and touched Murdoc's hand softly, which caused the bassist's face to melt. All of the hardness he'd just displayed fell away, and he was left with a childish, fearful look.

"I...I'm gonna talk ta her, Muds. But, I mean, look, I need ta know if I'm gonna make a decision..."

Murdoc looked at him, a pit in his stomach the whole time. He couldn't believe that he was even an option at this point.

"Wot, wot d'ya need ta know?" he asked, getting down on his knees and holding hands with the singer, looking up at him needily.

"When I said I loved you earlier...do you really not love me back?" he asked, dreading the answer that was going to come out of the bassist's mouth. Murdoc stared at him, a pained look on his face for what felt like ages, before he buried his face into hip.

"I don't know, D. I don't know wot I feel," he stated coldly before standing up, sniffling, and turning his back to the singer , "now let's go. She's waiting fer you."

D put his head down and sighed, following his friend out of the room. It was time to face the music.

It happened so fast. They opened the door, entered the kitchen and there she was; the woman he'd been waiting for all of this time. She was sitting down at the table, tears streaming down her face. She stood up once he was in the room and there was a tense moment between them as he slowly inched towards her. Russel and Murdoc were both standing off to the side, arms folded. Russel put his arm around the bassist and pulled him close. Surprisingly, he allowed it.

"Noodle..." D whispered breathlessly as she let out a sob and ran into his arms, kissing him desperately.

"Yes, it's me. It's me. Oh God, I've missed you!" she sobbed. He kissed her back, a whole array of emotions arriving and leaving, one after another.

"I missed you too," he replied, a bit numb to the whole situation. It felt good to have her in his arms. She buried her head into his chest and sobbed uncontrollably, and he could feel himself beginning to tear up.

He cradled her in his arms, shielding her from all of the pain she'd suffered, and wishing he could protect her from the pain he was about to bring upon her. However, he was unable to numb himself anymore and suddenly broke down, also sobbing. His shoulders shook as he rested his head upon hers, holding her as close as he thought was humanly possible. She was so warm and comforting, just as he'd remembered.

Murdoc watched the situation, feeling as though he might break down and cry as well. He folded his arms tighter across his chest and bit his lower lip, leaning further into Russel. The drummer knew how difficult it had to be for his mate to watch this, and he rubbed his shoulder quickly.

"Come on, let's go," he murmered as he led the bassist out of the kitchen. He knew that he shouldn't have to sit there and watch as he lost the person he was so rapidly falling for.

"Stuart," Noodle whispered as she leaned back and wiped a tear away from his face. He smiled softly at her, sniffling and struggling to get himself under control.

"Yes?" he whispered back. They were both a little afraid to speak aloud.

"Can we go talk somewhere? In private?"

He nodded and took her hand, leading her to his bedroom. He was thrilled to see that Dex had already left, and had even cleaned his room up. All evidence of a woman's presence completely gone. They both walked over to the bed and sat down beside one another, a long silence passing between them.

"Stu," she sighed, finally speaking in a regular voice, "I know it's been a long time," she admitted looking up at him nervously.

He nodded, "it has."

"I don't expect that you've waited for me all of this time."

He stared at her, unsure of what to say. She met his gaze, guilt written all over his face. She felt her heart sink as she realized she was right.

"Who?" she asked softly, enormous pain in her voice.

He felt some more tears stream down his face. He didn't want to hurt her. It killed him to see her feel pain because of him. He'd promised to never hurt her when he'd asked for her hand in marriage, and here he was, about to break her heart.

"Murdoc."

Her eyes widened a bit, "M...Murdoc? But, he's...you're gay?"

2D shuffled uncomfortably, holding onto the sleeves of his sweater.

"Well, he's the first man I've eva been wif..."

"When?" she interrupted, standing up and looking angrily at him, tears flowing out of her beautiful black eyes. He continued to cry as well, struggling to maintain eye contact with her.

"It started yesterday..."

"Yesterday!?" she shouted, incredibly angry with herself for not appearing a day earlier. Just one fucking day would've made all of the difference.

"Ok, so you're not in love with him then, right? So, we can just forget that it ever happened, right?" she started to ramble, trying to force him into returning to her. She looked at him, desperately, waiting for an answer. He opened his mouth a bit, and then shut it, looking up at her guiltily. It was enough of an answer for her.

"Oh my God, I can't believe this," she stated, venom dripping from her words, "this is great. I've been trying to find you for fucking months and this is what I come back to!"

2D stood up and tried to grab her hands, but she jerked them away from him.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" he begged, "I thought you were dead, Noodle, I thought you were fucking dead!"

He continued to try and grab her hands until she got frustrated and shoved him back onto the bed and screamed, "NO! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU'RE SORRY!" tears were streaming as she shook uncontrollably and slapped his face, "I SHOULD'VE NEVER COME HERE! I SHOULD'VE NEVER COME BACK!" she screamed before turning away from him and opening the door. She turned to give him one last look, "You're dead to me," she stated angrily before slamming the door behind her.

He could hear her footsteps, the door to plastic beach opening and slamming behind her. She was gone. Again.

He cried for a few moments, his hands over his eyes. He laid down on the bed and rolled to his side. He was certain the wales coming out of his mouth must've been pitiful, but he didn't care. He deserved to cry. This went on for about five minutes before he finally just stopped. He calmed down, and sat up, eyes all blurry from the tears. He rubbed his eyes and struggled to refocus. There it was, the only thing he could see clearly. That beautiful, relieving razor blade. He stood up, walked over to it's home on the dresser, grabbed it and rolled his sleeves up. This time he was going to go deep.


	13. Chapter 13

This is a Low

Chapter 13: So, So Suicidal

Written By: StalkerDex

Murdoc and Russel stared at the door after she'd slammed it behind her. She had been a fireball of rage, shooting throughout their home.

"Wot the fuck?" Murdoc whispered as he ran towards the door. He had to find out what had happened.

"Muds, wait...!" Russel shouted. It was too late, he was already out the door.

"Fuck," he muttered as he, too, made a sprint out the door.

"NOODLE! WAIT! WAAAAIIITTT!!!!!" Murdoc cried out as he ran after the young Japanese woman. She was at the edge of the beach now, sitting and slamming her fists into the ground.

"I don't want to fucking talk to you!" She sobbed as she pushed the bassist away from her. He had made an attempt to grab her arm.

"Hey, now, you stop it! Ye hear me!? Stop it!" He ignored her pushes and finally grabbed a hold of her arm. She continued to take swings at him, getting him once in the face. He grunted and got a hold of both of her arms, pinning her beneath him. She was still struggling to get away for a moment, but eventually realized it was useless and went limp beneath him.

He panted heavily, looking up at Russel who had simply stood aside during the whole fiasco.

"Now," he breathed, still struggling to catch his breath, "wot the fuck happened?"

"He doesn't want me," she spat out, avoiding all eye contact with the bassist, practically shoving her face into the sand.

"Wot? Wot d'ya mean?"

"I mean," she shouted, looking up at him, "I mean, he fucking proposed to me and I go away for a few months and he suddenly decides he's too in love with your ass to be with me!"

Murdoc stared at her, his eyes wide with confusion as the Asian woman beneath him simply cried into the sand. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He'd chosen him!

"Well, ok...so you two 'ad a fight then?" he asked, feeling as though he were in a dream.

"Yes, yes," she whispered, regaining control of herself, "you can let me sit up now. I won't run."

Murdoc, still looking entirely bewildered, got off of her and plopped down beside her, staring out at the ocean. Russel also decided to plop down, which almost felt like it caused a minor earthquake.

"Jesus, Russ," Noodle slightly laughed, wiping away the last of her tears. It wasn't just 2D she missed, she'd missed Russel and Murdoc as well. Even as angry as she was with Murdoc, she still was happy to see him. Of course, it was hard to look at him because then she could really get a clear image of him fucking her fiance sideways. She cringed a bit and looked down at her feet.

"Ok, so, what now?" the drummer asked.

"Well, now...I move on, I guess," she sighed, guilt suddenly washing over her, "oh God, I was really hard on him just now."

"Wot d'you mean?" Murdoc asked looking over at her.

"I mean. I, fuck, I told him he was dead to me..." she sighed.

"YOU WOT!?" Murdoc shouted as he jumped to his feet, "Christ, Noodle, he's fucking suicidal! Goddamnit!" he shouted as he started to run back for the Plastic building.

"What!?" Noodle cried out as her and Russel also jumped to their feet and followed. She had no idea. It felt like a million miles were between the three of them and his room, but they made it and, as Murdoc barreled through the door the other two knew it wasn't ok; they heard him scream out.

"FUUUUUCCCCKKKK!" He cried as he dropped to his knees, holding the singer's shoulder. There was so much blood...it was absolutely everywhere.

"D, D...listen to me, oh fuck, we're gonna git you a doctor, ok? We're gonna git you to a hospital, ok?" he whimpered as he brushed his blue hair out of his face. The singer smiled weakly at him.

"It's ok, I didn't go too far," he whispered, sounding as though he were coming in and out.

Truth be told, he was fading in and out. He kept seeing an ominous black inching out all of his vision and then scurrying away. He could see Murdoc clearly, but couldn't quite hear everything. It was all sort of echoing...

"Quick! Call an ambulance!"

"Oh, God...Oh, God," he could hear Noodle in the distance.

"Hello!? 911!? We have an emergency..." Russel, good old Russel, always the care taker.

2D suddenly chuckled a bit and reached his hand up to Murdoc's face, which was quickly becoming blurry.

"Hey, Muds..." he choked out.

"Hi, Hello," he responded, tears streaming down his face. He was so confused. Why was everyone freaking out? Why was Murdoc crying? Oh, God, he hadn't meant to make Murdoc cry...he'd never even seen him cry in his life.

"Shhh, don't cry, Baby," the singer whispered, wiping a tear from his cheek. Murdoc grabbed onto his hand hard, as though if he were to let go he would float right off of the planet. Noodle stood helplessly in the corner of the room, watching the two of them together. She could really see that they cared for one another.

"Ok, Ok...you don't die on me, ok? I won't let you die..."

Die? Why did he think he was going to die? He was just tired. Darkness, it was coming in some more. He couldn't even see Murdoc's face anymore.

"I'm gonna go ta sleep," he whispered, barely aware of himself as the black completely took over his vision.

"Hang on, Hang on..."

Breathe in.

"Please, Baby, PLEASE!!!!!!"

Breathe out.

Nothing.


	14. Chapter 14

This is a Low

Chapter 14: This is a Low

Written By: StalkerDex

_This is a low, but it won't hurt you._

_-Blur, 'This is a Low'_

It had been a few hours in the waiting room, the three of them struggling to occupy their minds with celebrity gossip magazines and television news. It was so sterile, and difficult to focus in the environment...in the situation. They hadn't heard if he was going to be okay or not. They had just rushed him into the back, where they wouldn't allow anyone else to enter, not even Murdoc.

"Fuck this...I'm gonna go back there," Murdoc stated as he got out of his chair. Noodle stared up at him along with Russel.

"Calm down, just relax. You can't help the situation any," Russel demanded as he yanked Murdoc back into his seat. He sighed; he knew Russel was right, but all of this waiting was killing him.

"He lost a lot of blood in the water car," Murdoc stated, his eyes all puffy from the crying he'd done. None of them had ever seen him cry, and it was sort of surreal to be able to say they had now.

"I know, Muds. I know," Russel responded, setting his magazine down. There was no way he could read any more of that shit; it wasn't helping anyway.

A long and awkward silence passed between the three of them and Russel kept looking between Murdoc and Noodle. She was still all tattered looking, now with the added damage of tear stained cheeks. She was sitting with her legs crossed and her hands digging into each of her arms. She was biting her lower lip and tapping one of her feet. She seemed to be very fidgety, and even a bit angry. Murdoc was an entirely different sight. He looked ill as he sat completely still. His hair was a matted up mess from the sex he'd had with D earlier, and his clothes hung loosely on his frail body. He looked really broken up.

"So, is anyone in here going to fucking acknowledge the enormous, smelly-ass elephant in the room!?" he finally spoke up, unable to contain himself.

"Wot the fuck're you talkin' about," Murdoc muttered, sounding entirely uninterested as he shifted, looking at the ground. He looked so tired.

"I'm talkin' between you and her. You two should have some words about this, shouldn't you? For Christ's sake, this silence is killin' me!"

Another moment of silence passed before Noodle spoke up, "fine, ok. What should I say? Should I say how fucking disappointed I am? How my angry I am that you fucked my fiance? The only thing that got me through when they were holding me hostage?"

"Well, you could've called or somefin' when you got away, couldn't you've? You know, ta let your _fiance_ know that you were fuckin', I don't know, ALIVE!?"

"Do you really think I knew how to get in touch!? I went straight to Kong and I found it burned the goddamned ground, Asshole!"

Murdoc shifted again, this time looking extremely frustrated.

"He thought you were dead. Russel thought you were dead. I fucking thought you were dead. End of fuckin' story. I had no reason not to fuck him...an' furthermore, it wasn't just fucking for yer information, not that it really even is any of yer goddamn business, but I happen to love him, an' you had to go and open yer fuckin' fat ass mouth an' tell him he was fucking dead to you and now look where the fuck we are! I finally fuckin' fall in love and now he's gonna be dead, when _you're_ the one who's supposed to be fuckin' dead, so don't you dare come in here and tell me you can't believe _I_ fucked yer fiance, because if ANYONE fucked him, it's YOU!"

A long silence passed, the only sound was Murdoc's heavy breathing. He'd really gotten himself worked up.

"See, that's progress," Russel spoke quietly, a little scared to speak after all of that.

Murdoc put up his hand and waved it at him to indicate he didn't give a shit. Noodle just refolded her arms and looked down at her feet.

"Um, excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt this, er, family moment, but, he's asking for a Mr. Niccals?"

Murdoc stood up, a nervous look on his face, "Yes, tha's me."

The young doctor nodded as he started to walk away, "follow me then."

Murdoc shuffled his hair a bit and straightened his shirt and then followed the doctor to the singer's room. Russel and Noodle stared, relieved that D had woken back up.

"Okay, now, you can't be in there too long, but, you can have a moment alone."

Murdoc nodded and took in a deep breath as the doctor opened the door for him. As he walked inside he drank the whole room in. The sun was shining in, completely oblivious to the trying day he was currently having, and enhancing the whiteness of the entire room. D was sitting in the middle of the white bed, his blue hair sticking out like a sore thumb. He looked just as gorgeous as always, even when he was all fucked up and in a hospital bed. Murdoc sat down on the bed and looked at him, relieved to see that he was okay.

"They said I 'ave ta see a therapist," he spoke up rather bluntly. He was smiling though.

"Ye, well, I kinda figured that one," Murdoc responded, avoiding eye contact. He was looking at the ceiling, counting the squares.

Suddenly, he felt the singer's soft hand on top of his, causing him to look at him. He didn't even look like anything had just happened.

"I'm sorry, Muds. I won't do this again."

The bassist took his hand out from under the singer's, and for a brief moment D thought that he was going to leave. However, he was pleasantly surprised to see Murdoc turn towards him, putting the hand he'd retrieved onto his cheek.

"You'd better not," he whispered, staring at him, an intense look on his face. Suddenly, 2D felt overwhelmed with guilt. He hadn't thought of how it would've affected Murdoc if he'd offed himself.

"I won't. I promise. I'll never hurt you again."

He felt overwhelmed as he watched a tear fall down Murdoc's cheek.

"Muds..."

"Shhh, don't talk," he hushed as he leaned in and kissed the singer. It was a long, closed mouth kiss, but it was the single most meaningful kiss either D or Murdoc had ever experienced in their lives.

"I love you, Stuart," he whispered once they parted. He rubbed the side of the singer's face with his thumb, unwilling to back away.

D smiled softly at him, reaching up to touch his hand. He closed his eyes as he held his hand to his face and sighed a relieved and happy sigh.

"I know, but I'm so glad ta hear you say it."

As the two of them sat together, thankful to have one another, Russel and Noodle quietly entered the room. Russel was the first to approach.

"Hey, bud," he stated as he sat on the side of the bed opposite Murdoc.

"Hi," he smiled before everyone turned to look at Noodle, who was standing nervously in the doorway.

"I'm sorry," she stated flatly as she looked at the singer, "I was too hard on you."

2D smiled at her reassuringly, "it's okay. This has been...really, really hard," he admitted as he reached out his arm, indicating for her to join the rest of them. She smirked before walking over and embracing him. The held each other for a moment before they parted and she looked at Murdoc.

"If anyone was there to pick up the pieces from the mess I left behind, I'm glad it was you. We'll figure this shit out. It'll be rough, but, we're a family."

Murdoc nodded at her, assuring her he was willing to work whatever he needed to out to keep D happy, and, as he looked at his lover, he could tell that he was happy.

"Ok, big hug everyone," Russel stated as he pulled everyone in.

As the singer was sitting there in the middle of a giant, family hug he couldn't help but feel warm inside for the first time in ages. This is what he had wanted all along; his family. People can function as single units, you need a stable foundation to catch you when you fall, and now he had that back. Any time he felt like he was going to stumble, he knew that now, from this point on, he could always count on his family, and that was something he would never, ever forget again.

"I love you," he stated, smiling and resting his head down onto Russel's arm.

"We love you, too."

END.

_Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for reading. :] I really appreciate it, and I did finally decide to write one with a nice, happy ending...although you've NO idea how badly I wanted to kill of D and leave it all sad and tragic, but, he always dies in the end, so I decided to show some mercy on him this time :] And, Murdoc finally got to tell 2D he loves him in one as well, which is something I always ensure he doesn't get the chance to say. Hehe, I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'll be starting a new one probably tonight._


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